 43H                                                                    43                                                                    43                                                                    43                                                                    43h                                                                   43                                                                   43                                                                   43@                                                                   43                                                                   43                                                                   43                                                                   43`                                                                   43                                                                   43               Women want the joke!Jokes for Women!                                                  43    IExcuse me - I... I think it's probably
time for me to take my medicine...                                                                 43                                                                   438                                                                   43                                                                   43                                                                   43                                                                   43X                                                                   43                                                                   43     YEEEOOOWWWW!!!                                                               43@                                                                   43                                                                   43                                                                   43                                                                   43`                                                                   43                                                                   43                                                                   438	                                                                   43
                                              oWell welcome to our audience, and
welcome to DEATH, the latest star to
rise and shine in the land of Holy Wood!:DEATH - how do you feel about
your up and coming premiere?I DON'T FEEL. I AM DEATH.LWhat he means is that he's confident
that the product will speak for itself!BThat we've got something really
astounding, really new, really....
really....WHAT??Look - just try to appear less
skeletal or something, will you?fYes, well perhaps you might explain to
us just why you feel DEATH is the
sex symbol for today's world?TWell, Trish, we've always known that the
height of style is pure, elegant restraint.PAnd of course, when it comes to wearing
black, he's always been the trendsetter.Fabulous, fantastic4Well, that's it from outside
the Odium here tonight!TThis is Trish Looksgood inviting one and
all to join me here tonight and get reaped!SQUEAK!Oh shut up!'It seemed like a good idea at the time!FHow was I to know the spectre of death
was going to become a pop icon?1Now he says he doesn't
want his old day job back!SQUEAK SQUEAK!Now he's a style setter!  43x  YNow millions of girls are cramming
themselves into undersized,
tight black lace costumes,4with lots of black lace,
all dying their hair black,Nwearing black lace and black nail polish
and deep plum lipstick and black lace,and being pale and
very, very interesting...(*Sigh* God, I hate wearing this dress...SQUEAK SQUEAK!$What do you mean, it's all my fault?SQUEAK!=Well of course I saw the game's
opening credits! I was there!SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK.1Well no, I don't think
that's a good idea at all.!No - it's just not my cup of tea!-SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK,
SQUEAKA SQUEAKA SQUEAK! You mean I have to become DEATH?4Hmm. Well, I suppose it'll
help me make new friends.                                                        43                                                                   43D               ,Iiiiiiiim in the moooood for frogs! ah yeah!+Frogs are the things I've been thinking of!pBut they're so small and green
And they reign supreme
In this crazy Casanunda's house of love...
Oh! Oh! Oooooh!Oooooh, much better!Yes yes!Oooooh - I like this one!(Quite right! Plenty
enough to go around!How do you cook it?Sage and onions!Sage and onions?In the middle of the desert?3Oh - Turmeric, rosewater
and onions then - come on!Yes, yes, yes, yes, aye.rOooooooh witness the all powerful
mystic-type skills of what would be the
Far East if that direction existed here!gWatch now as Uri Djeller manipulates
the metal objects with the modern
powers of his magnificent brain. Strain! Straaaain! Straaaaiiiin!Oh - the end has fallen off...(Greetings, little fakir of the pharaohs!Greetings, my good man!BHere - see now revealed before you
the wonders of the fakir's art!Flasheee! Blam! Sploonge!,Yes ... I... I don't think I quite follow...Do you dare to doubt my powers?RAha! now I shall strike the infidel with
my magnificent straightening-type powers!Straaaaain! Straiiin! Strainey!Feel anything yet?8Well my back's stopped hurting,
if that's what you mean.*See! see the awesome
might of Uri Djeller!All right - So what do you do?Uri Djeller uses the power of the mind
to restart hourglasses, and to bend
and unbend the metal things, and to
find out tomorrow's news TODAY!So does it work?RUm... er... Uri also has a special skill
at putting things on top of other things!How lovely for you.eLook, you being a mystic and all
you... you wouldn't happen to know
anything about jingles would you?$Uri Djeller knows all about jingles.1You bring Uri bells and
he will make them jingle.%You want big jingle or little jingle?8You'll be hearing bells soon if
you don't pay attention.uI mean jingle as in short catchy song,
some meaningless little tune that goes
around and around in your head all day.Ahhh. Now Uri understands.'You mean like philosophy,
but to music.Yeah. That's the one.Yes Uri knows of philosopher.#He in desert.
Uri try and remember.Straaaaain! straiiin! Strainey! Uri pleased to be of assistance.7All right - what about these
other mystic powers, then?6We have the fabulous pyramid
powers of time and space!We have the mystic men sitting
in deserts, and we have cut-rate
camels, although they're not quite
so mystic, but they can't half spit!Oh really. Is that all?You want more? 43'  Then we have the fountain of youth!
Yes, indeed! You can get a second
childhood without all the dribbling
and unfortunate bad-type smells.Now that sounds more like it!Where might I find that? Oooooh, errrr... I've forgotten.CWhen they call your people 'fakers'
they're not joking, are they...@How dare you cast aspersions
on my mighty powers of um... err...7err, what's it called - it was
on the tip of my tongue,4mind's gone blank...
um... oh... oh, right...memory!CThere is a prospector what comes
through here every now and again..3He goes everywhere!
He's been around for centuries!>You ask him if he's ever seen
a greater sage than Uri Djeller!
A mystic, eh?:Mock not the powers that your
tiny mind cannot understand!/Watch now as you face
the wrath of Uri Djeller!!Straiin!
Straaaiiin!
Straaaaaain!&So much for the mystics of the desert.qA mad spoon-straightener,
a flock of hooting Biddies,
and some tall stone pointy things
that you can't even wear.,I say - can you maybe
do me a little favour?4I have some things here
that need straightening out.No problems, my good man!Strain! Straaaaiiin! Straiin!"Uh - my nose has started to bleed!HNow look what you've made me do!
All down the front of dad's good shirt!XHere, little spotted sage -
cast your eyes on this and tell
me what you can do about it.	Ooooh ta!+Looks hard at hourglass -
hears no ticking.wAfter a long and hard
examination of this timepiece,
I can now give you the heady-type
words of the desert herbal sage!Yes?+It is an hourglass for
the keeping of time!I know what it is!,I want to know how to
fill it back up again!*Then I shall work my
magic powers of mind!#Straiiiin!
Straiiiiin!
Straiiiiiin!3Oooh! I've gone all giddy!
I do not like this game!'Are you going to
fix this thing or not?&Why do you keep
bothering me about it!7Go fill it at the fountain
of youth if you're so smart.Popping hummus?9Genuine popping hummus -
take it home and do it yourself!WI'll let it go at half price, even though
I'm cutting my own hand off! Off, Off, Off...Or relics? Relics, offendi?$Brand new relics,
only half a dinar!New relics?How can you have 'new' relics?,Through the magic of
pyramid power, offendi!cThrough the effects of time distortion,
we now can bring you all the
prestige of ancient artifacts,Kwithout the annoyance of having broken
old rubbish cluttering up the house. Greetings, oh pointy-hatted one!IAre you perhaps interested in owning
a very perfect and beautiful bridge?JTen thousand dinars - and I'm cutting
off my own faruk at twice the price!	A bridge?In the middle of the desert?jIf the need should ever come, offendi,
you will be just that much further
ahead  of the rush! Hee hee hee!I don't believe this!-So what's all this about
pyramid power, then?WAaaaah my esteemed dress-bedecked one -
the pyramids are mystic centres of great power..Within them, time is
slowed, or time is sped -Cand they also sharpen hamburger
and keep razor blades fresh! Ah Ha!$Four functions for the price of one!!Yours for a desert song, offendi.7A thousand dinar, and Hey!
I'm cutting my own hand off!*No thank you - I'm
trying to give them up.I so love foreign travel.WIt lets you see that all the foreigners
are just like the people you've left at home --/a bunch of self-obsessed,
ungrateful layabouts.?Oh well - it seems I now know how
to see a man about a pyramid.!It should come in handy someday -NIt'd be terrible, needing a pyramid in
a hurry and finding all the shops shut.  431  Stone, sir?	You what?Stone sir?
For the executions?)Good solid stone,
guaranteed streamlined.YOr we've got light weight models
here designed for those caught
at the back of the crowd.7I'm sorry - I seem to have
this awful sense of deja vu.IShould I mention the fact that women
aren't allowed at the stonings, sir?5It's amazing -- I think I've
had this deja vu before.;You know there's something
familiar about this whole scene.5And you, there's something
familiar about your voice.VYeah, yeah, yeah - the graphics may
have changed but the voice is definitely
the same.*I don't know what you're referring to sir. Now can I interest you in rocks?(No no.
Not just at the
moment thank you.+You're a rather rock-loving sort of fellow.Do you have any candy rock?2What, like trolls eat and
lose all their teeth on?%Yep - there's a slab of it just here.It's terrifically popular.<Well, you can throw it at someone
and no one gets hurt, see?Good stuff for stonings -BI mean, you get to stone the
victim all over again on another day!So this candy rock...can I have it, then?
Oh certainly!*I mean - why bother
even paying any money!I'm just glad to be of help!   4Sorry about that, sir -
it's just supply and demand.&Maybe you should
try the next stoning?(It should only be in a full moon or two.8Someone's sure to have done
something stoneable by then. I can't wait for two full moons!I'm on a timetable, I am!What am I going to do now?Have you ever considered, sir, engaging in
a long and almost pointless quest to
achieve the same results we almost had
squared away a mere few seconds ago, sir?3Do I look the sort of... person...
who'd... go....
I do, don't I.I really do.
Stone him!Yes yes yes!On the head!Ooooooh!Get 'em! Get 'em!3Oh dear - that deja vu
headache is coming on again.%Ah well - it's what the punters want.4Still, at least they know
what's supposed to happen.0Um - yadda yadda yadda yadda...
ah, here we are!c"In that she did take comedy in vain,
is hereby sentenced to be stoned
by soft chewy rock candy..."What?Taken comedy in vain?How?Oooooooh - it doesn't matter!It does!Define your terms,
you fascist! Well it's for lame comedy, then!Stuff that's lifeless, dull.The sort of rubbish you get when
you lamely parrot off other people's
material instead of coming up with
something worthwhile all of your own! 
Stop that!But you were parroting!#I am not parroting!
I am parodying.Par-rod-de-ing.Completely different!5Parodying. Remember that.
and then we don't get sued.
Oh dear...Stop it! Stop it!  43d:  Now who threw that?Was it you?Yes.Well?Well she was parroting!Stop it! Stop it!%Right - no one is
to stone anybody... Until you've blown this whistle!We've seen it!That's parroting!Stone him! Stone him!3Not me! No - I'm not the
one who wanted this stuff!They made me do it! 9I say - shall we call this one
the dead parroting sketch?	Watch it!Gerbils, oh wise one?3Prime racing gerbils,
rented to you at lowest cost!Gerbils?Those look like camels!No no no, no, offendi!,These are gerbils -
desert dwelling rodents.Very fine, very cheap!2Look - I'm telling you that
these are not gerbils!%Do these gerbils of yours eat cheese?Run about in little wheels?.Make nests out of old
tissues and cotton wool?No, offendi.9So what makes you think that
these creatures are gerbils?They burrow.Really?
All of them?Yes!
Well - no.Ah... err... not all of them.Well...none, really.PRight! Well I might be
interested in renting one of
the non burrowing ones then.,Indeed, indeed -
Please feel free to browse.7Right - let us for now establish
that these are camels.9This being so - how much to
rent one for a brief journey.Five dinar, offendi!Hmmmm - and to buy?Five dinar offendi!(Why are they the same
to rent as to buy?TI cannot stand the noise
they make as they sit in their
wood shavings eating cheese.&Now look!
I thought we had settled...!!Oh - all right!
Five dinar, then!HBut only if you invest some of it
in professional psychiatric treatment!Squeak.Camels, eh?)Where? Where? Where?
Where, where, where?It's the heat, you know.7It does things to a man's....
er... um... to a man's...Squeak?4Is there much call for
your line of work here, then?No, not really.ZIt's all pyramids these days -
and there's not much work you
need to actually design them.(Mmmm - they look
pretty complex, though.*I mean - you have to
get the points sharp.=Well, yes - but the mathematics
was worked out millennia ago.XMy only real task these days is
trying to fit the client's budget
into the calculations.Still - I've had a few ideas.VPyramid-ettes, multi-user pyramid arcology
complexes, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera....Why are pyramids so popular?$Well it's all just a matter of time. 43G  Time?Yes - well, a lack of time.RYou see, pyramids alter the flow of time -
slow it up, or sometimes accelerate it.`So what people want is for me to
make a pyramid where time slows
almost to a stop at the middle;Uthen when they feel themselves
beginning to croak, they can
bung themselves in there,]and hopefully in a millennia or
two, someone will have figured
out a cure for what ails them.:And does anyone ever figure
out a cure for what ails them?No, of course not.'They're all too busy building pyramids.*Sigh*PI have a terrific design here
for a reverse pyramid -
one for accelerating time.pIt's great - I can age wine in a second,
but do you think I can get the funds
or equipment to build it? Bah! no!nIt's always "design a maze to protect
the king of kings" this or "raise a
monument to the king of kings" that.&Call that a profession - 'coz I don't!{I don't know - it seems needlessly
cruel to make fun of someone whose entire
life consists of playing with gigantic blocks.QMmm, just think - I know where to come if
ever I want to change the flow of time.aI wish I could skip past this next
few hours of game play and see
how the end credits turned out.(What on Disc are you lot doing up there?#Nothing much - just hanging around.&If it's not an embarrassing question -Why did they tie you up there?
Publicity.
Publicity!2They've got you up there
tied to an old dead tree!1Well it was either this
or do adverts for coffee..In which case, I suppose
I can see your point.?Say - Have you ever considered
using your talents commercially?JOh yes! I mean - I could rent myself
out for scaring crows off the crops -0liven up childrens' parties,
that sort of thing.No no no - I mean your singing.-Would you consider doing
some singing for me?What?%Oh - well I suppose it could be done.NTell you what - prise us down from here,
and we'll see what we can do for you.So why? Why were you tied up?#Well - it's got tons of advantages!Such as?ZA bit of sunshine - a bit of conversation...
birdwatching of your buzzards and vultures....Don't they get frightened
when people pass by?=No...they carrion regardless.
Carrion... Good one, eh? Ha ha.Aaaaah - the middle ages.Picturesque, isn't it?   My bones - I've lost one or two.$I'm not alive - of that I'm certain!Sorry to disturb you...6Ba-ba-ba ba-boom-
Ba-boom-boom boom-
Ba-ba-ba ba-boom!,Ba bo-bo-bo-boom
Ba bo-bo-bo-boom
Boom boom.6Ba bo-bo-bo-boom
Ba bo-bo-bo-boom
boom booooooooom.... CSomething in your knife just told me
that sometime is now... eurgh!Ohhh! Angus? Angus?Angus where are...Oh! There you are.,Oh,aaaah - you look better every day, Angus!oWhat with the sun and the sand
and exclusive diet of mushrooms...
I'd go quite mad if it
wasn't for you, Angus!ANo!... No-no-no-no-no-no-no!...
You can't play a king on a seven!You cheatin' little... gittoff!(How many cards do
you have there anyway?<Ah, a holy madman on a wheel.
He must be sage of the desert.-He'd be in real trouble
if I had some onions.Hello there up the pole!*Angus! Angus! There's
someone at the pole!OWhat? Well, put it down right now!
You  can give yourself a disease like that--
Aaaaaargh!,Oh! there's a pyramid
walking about on legs!%Look - I don't want to be any bother.  43S  II'm just wondering why you're up the
pole, not to mention round the bend.
Hermiting!+It's all the rage in
these parts, you know.*You can't be wise
unless you're hermiting.FAngus - we have guests!
Put out another sucking
pig mirage for dinner!WNo no, that won't be necessary.
I'll be fleeing in terror in
about three minute's time.ESo you're... you're good then, are
you? I mean, you know, wise- wise?=Wise? Wise? If I was any wiser,
I'd be a leopard skin bikini!That wise, eh?GAha! I'm so wise, that I will now
provide you with your heart's desire.:A jingle written for your sinful
modern-type clickie film!%Yes - yes yes yes yes - no Angus, no!"No - not now, thank you, I'm busy!bBaste it for twelve minutes - twelve!
Fool, fool, fool and fool again!
How can you never remember?uNyah-ha! There!
Here's a jingle written expressly for
your clickie project to promote Death.
Whoa, promote the death!LWhat - you've written it for
me now - just like that?
No quests or anything?*Wonderful!
Thank you!
Thank you very much!2You, you, you're... you're...
you're most welcome.So can I have it?No.NAh. I might have known.
There's going to be a
quest after all, isn't there....Not for me - but for Angus!He says he's sick and tired of being woken up
all hours of the night by people coming here
and asking us the riddle that has baffled
philosophers since the dawn of time:
Why? why why why why why!Why? Why what?OWhy anything?
Why everything?
Why are we here?
Why are you here?
Why am I here?%Now *that's* a hard one.
Right, then.8It's not like you're asking
me to do anything difficult.+Why? That's the question, okay?
No problem.[RIGHT! Well I'll just go off
and find this answer for your
invisible friend Angus, shall I?!Is that fine by everybody?
Right!Good! Well - here I go.tGood old Rincewind has nothing better
to do than trudge all over the Disc
fetching one bloody thing after another...Right - now where were we?Oh yes - dealer takes two.
Um.... Hello?)Angus! Angus no! Put
down that metal hen!!On second thoughts... never mind.5What are you standing there for?
Go and find out why?xWe've got a schedule to maintain, you
know.... or is that a schedule? Ah-ha!
It's nearly time for me not to have a bath.So this friend of yours.Who - Angus?Angus! It's for you!8If you want Angus, you should
have rung the second bell. It's clearly marked on the door.&No! Look - I'm not here to talk to ...LOh, don't keep Angus waiting!
He's a busy man.
Biz, biz, biz, biz bizzy man!4If it wasn't for him I think
I'd go insa-a-a-a-a-ne.Well, I tell you what -Cyou just let him get on, and I'll
come back later at a better time.#Angus! Angus, it's happening again!PHow many times have I told you not to
play that sinful music to all those clams?KThey say it comes from chewing on too
many lead toys when you're a child...GAngus! Angus! Don't put those in there!
You know they breed like flies!Oh - they are flies?;Well in which case, bring the
popcorn and we'll watch them.
Ooooooooh!
Hello? Hello?!Look - have I come at a bad time?No, lad! No!7We're just settling down
to a nice evening by the fire.-I've brought the answer!
You know - to 'Why?'Well done, lad!
Well done!&It's probably not what you expected...Out with it!It's a bit...short... 43HV  Speak up, lad! speak up!Well - all right...."It's not really very conclusive...It just says...."Because". Then it says:"Blip blip blip, Out of Cheese Error...
blip blip blip, Cannot Find Drive Z...
blip blip blip, Unrecoverable Application Error...\blip blip blip, Please Reboot Universe.
blip blip blip, Year of the Sloth...
blip blip blip"AAngus! Angus, you were right!
... you were right, you were right!3Angus - stop doing that
right now and listen to me!9Normally I'd hang around long
enough to check the goods -?but in this case, a frenzied
departure might be more advisable.                                                        43V                                                                   43V                                    #Some of us have got a game to play.                               43DW                                                                   43W                                                                   43W                                                                 You! 43$c   There you are! Bone idle, I see.=Come on - get up and get back
to work. It's chaos back there!NO. I LIKE IT HERE.1IT'S A LAND OF OPPORTUNITY,
SUN, SURF AND PRAWNS.,I can see the sun's
given you a nice bleach.Come on - we're going home!NO. I'M NOT GOING BACK.>I WORKED MY FINGERS TO THE BONE
FOR THEM BUT THEY ALL HATE ME.	Hate you?$What does that matter?
You're Death!*You're not supposed to worry about things!You just -- just happen!WELL I WANT MORE FROM LIFE.=A LITTLE BIT OF POPULARITY -
IT'S NOT TOO MUCH TO ASK, IS IT.GI WORK HARD FOR EVERYBODY.
DOES ANYONE EVER SAY THANK YOU?
I THINK NOT.Thank you? For *dying?*[Er...look, if I promise you that
I'll find a way of making you
popular, will you come back?"PEOPLE WILL LIKE ME - YOU PROMISE?BCross my heart and hope to meet
you in your professional capacity.Now is it a deal?HMMMMMM....0ALL RIGHT - BUT ONLY IF YOU
MAKE ME FEEL WANTED.^I have just the thing to bring the
message into the people's hearts
and minds, my dear fellow.CTell me... have you ever heard of
something called... the clickies?Grubs, mate?	You what?Grubs.Witchetty grubs. A bonza feed.6Mmmmmm! You can just smell
them on the barbie now, eh?WCome on - the cost's only three bits - and
at that price, I'm cuttin' me own digeridoo!ANo - look, I don't want to eat any
insect larva today, thank you.@Could be the mistake of your life,
mate! MMMMMM - they're yummy!Errr! Grubs?Ugh...they smell awful...RYou'd be really grateful for a feed of
these if you were lost in the desert, mate.'A good advert for buying a map, I feel.>Are you sure you live here? You
seem awfully familiar to me...+Sure as a platypus is an egg-laying mammal!ANow can I interest youse in any
quality dinkum merchandise, mate??Picnic hampers, hats with corks -
hows about a nice bent stick? I've got a lovely line in those!1No! Now look, why don't
you sell anything useful!Useful? It's all useful!See?VHere - best thing for that!
Take a couple of raw insect
larvae - cure's it like magic!Like magic?'Well - if it cure's it, it'll be magic.)Come on, mate - two for the price of one!I'm cutting me own bludger!Go away!BThis picnic hamper - it's not
filled with bugs or anything, is it?+Naaaah mate! I'd charge
extra for the bugs.UIt's a bargain! I'll give you the handle
for free - but I'm cutting me own billabong.5Stop saying that - I'm sure
it doesn't mean anything.-Ah...sorry. You've worked
that out, have you?:Yes, we only talk like that
when there's foreigners about.5The tourist board insists
that we maintain the image.rIn real life none of us would dream of
drinking or swearing or making offensive
remarks about women, I assure you."Now then, where was I...ah, yes...:G'day dinkum chunder, strewth
I'm worried about Darleen...Yes yes - ve-very bonza!0Now go and be "colloquial"
over there, will you?Stone the flaming crows!$Aargh, now you've got *me* doing it!   43m  OIf you locals are so smart,
how come there are no
bottles attached to that hat?9There were, but the flies have
already been and took 'em.Aaaaah Bonedie!Sun,surf,sun,sand,surf,heat,flies...Rand a strange, indescribable
smell just hovering somewhere
at the back of my nose.-Just the place where
the dead can enjoy life.=Odd - there's something strangely
hypnotic about those waves!yMust be fun, dipping in and out
of the surf - dodging the broken
bottles and old fish hooks,
swerving between the sharks.*Sigh*ASounds like jolly good fun...
I wonder how one
would go about it?I'll be seeing you then.Yeah, see ya later mate.Hello!Who're you?What d'ye want?SQUEAK! SQUEAKA-SQUEAKA-SQUEAK!!Yes, that's right - look, ummm...I'm here to become Death.	You what?6You know... Death,
The pale horseman.
TALKS LIKE THIS.1Very big in the hourglass
and scythes department.You?Oh, not for long.uJust until Himself gets back
I... I have to fill in for a while,
you know get the backlog
moving, that sort of thing.-Got the faintest idea
how to do it, have you?Um - well, I suppose so.%We got standards to maintain, mister.We takes a pride in our work.)I ain't havin' you lettin' the side down!>Listen, you got to be up to
the snuff before you can be Death!Now do you mean?WWell, you got to be able to
ride the pale horse, and you
got to wear the right clothes.9Death wouldn't be seen dead in
anything but a black robe.Yeah, you'll need a scythe -3and a capital letter voice -
something... chilling.Is that all?You want more?Get on with it!Oh, goodie.
Another quest.$I'm just flotsam on the sea of life.(Yeh! Stop snivelling
and get on with it!OThere we are - one robe,
comma, black, comma,
spectres of death for the use of!Call that black?It *is* black!No it ain't!@Not your "light falling into it,
never to escape" kind of black.'It's not the kind of black Death'd wear6You not making any friends
here, I hope you know that.0All right, blacker
than black it is!
Here we go!Having fun, are we?%Look - what was it
I was after again?I can't imagine, mister.(Advanced psychological
treatment, maybe?+Just tell me what I'm
supposed to be doing!YA black cloak, a scythe, a deep,
booming voice, and a demonstration
of your horsemanship./Surely even someone like
you can remember that?There we go!PLight not only simply falls
into it, but it doesn't even
get a chance to scream.Mmmmm - yes."Well, the cut could be better.....Albert!3Oh very well - I suppose
beggars can't be choosers..Yeah! There we are -
read it and reap, Albert!See - a scythe!$Oh, we *are* Mr Clever, aren't we...3I suppose you've got some
idea about how to use it?   43x  "Well of course I can use a scythe!You just sort of - um...,Yes, well I'm sure I'll
get the swing of it!"It'll just take a bit of practice.)Not inside where
you'll scar my woodwork!#Take it outside and reap the field.UWhen that's done, then perhaps you might
have enough skill to go and reap some souls.KYou know, if I end up in charge your
job is definitely one for down-sizing.#Ha! an entire field of corn reaped!CYeah - I've got you trembling now, eh?
I'm apocalypse material now!Oh, indeed, Sir.JYou're going to strike fear and tremblin'
into blades of grass everywhere.;Heelllloooo...
Annnyyyybooooddddyyyyy
Hooooommmmmeeeeeee...Hmmm, must be mice.;HEELLLLOOOO...
ANNNYYYYBOOOODDDDYYYYY
HOOOOOMMMMMEEEEEEE...8Looks like you just can't keep
a good screen saver down. Albert! Albert, it is I - Death!Hmmm, must be those mice again. ALBERT! ALBERT!
IT IS I - DEATH!Really, Sir?Nice to have you back, sir.CNow we can get rid of that little
prat in the pointy hat and dress.3Well at least I've proved
that I can use the voice.Right!JI've ridden the horse,
got the clothes,
the voice,
the scythe,
the moves -Nah! nah! Hold on!-Being Death isn't like
delivering the papers!]No no no - I can't let you go out
hacking and slaying wholesale
until you've had a trial run.Start small, mister.WCollect 100 souls first, and
then maybe you'll be ready to
get out there and slay them.A hundred souls.
Right now?Yep.<Look - couldn't we - you know -
just come to an arrangement?bCome on - ten gold pieces says
we just - you know - forget all
about it and get on with the story?Bribery, eh?VTrying to *buy* your
way out of a quest?
Where would we be if
everyone tried that, eh?pFine right - well, let's go get one
hundred lovely souls for Albert and the
principle of complicated gaming, eh?Bye bye, mister.4Don't trip and decapitate
yourself on the way out...Get your thieving hands off!THAT is for tea time!4But this is Death's kingdom.
Time never passes here.$I never said tea time would be soon!Look Albert! Look!Oh you found the commode!
Well done!4No Albert, I mean I've
managed to collect 100 souls.8Oh well, I suppose you must be
Death material after all.-I should have guessed
it from all your lines.xOh, all *right* - go out and reap away
to your little heart's content - but you
got to to be back before the bell tolls.9You know how the other Three
Horsemen hate hanging about.%I take it YOU rang the bell, did you?
That's right! And what was it you was wanting?.No no - nothing really.
I must have forgotten.Wonderful sir.#Then I shall get back to my duties.mPlease don't hesitate to ring the next
time you think you kind-of-maybe might
have forgotten what you wanted.Oh never fear - I will....3Ah there you are, sir. And
quite the part you look.(There's a job for you - your very first.Oh? What's this?It's a lifetimer hourglass. 43؃  .It counts off the moments
of its owner's life.sAs you can see, it's almost empty -
perhaps it's time for you to put down
your milky tea and actually do some work?Alright alright!
I'm going!(Who does this hourglass
belong to, then?NOh, you'll find out -
I think you'll find him quite
easy to spot in a crowd...Hello there!.And what are we doing in
this awful place, eh?What are WE doing here?cWell *I'm* minding my own business -
as for what *you* are doing, some
of us would rather not know.8Apart from that, there doesn't
seem to be much going on.&Well I was only trying to be friendly!DYes...Probably not a good idea,
seeing as you're wearing that dress.TI was always told not to talk to strangers
and it'd be hard to be stranger than you.Well excuse me!MAll I thought was "hello -
here's another mortal in
the land of Death, then"!XI mean - it seemed we might have
a few mutual talking points -
information to exchange -8pleasantries -
something in common -
that sort of thing.9Well, it looks as if we buy
our clothes in the same shop.(Was there something
I can help you with?BWell it's... it's just... just that
I don't know quite what to do!KI'm supposed to be standing in for Death,
but I don't know what to do next.Yes?But what am I supposed to do?3I mean - what does a living
Death do with his time?%It all seems dead boring to me! Haha!<You'll have to give me a signal
when you expect me to laugh.My - what a lovely toy cart!You can't have it.
Oh please?0Oh all right then. But get
me another toy first.>One of the autobiographies from
the hall of records should do.Something to laugh at.Laugh?9Those are people's life stories
we're talking about here!CReal tragedies - hopes, you know,
dreams, triumphs and aspirations!'How can you possibly
find them amusing?0I was thinking of yours.
That should be a laugh.(Just bring it here once you've found it."Let me guess - Death's handmaiden?#No, actually I'm his granddaughter.[In a universe of infinite possibilities,
I suppose that hairstyle had to come
up somewhere.There!)My ongoing life story!
Are you satisfied?6Oh look - an autobiography
with join-the-dot pictures.DThat's a catalogue of
all my hopes and dreams -
all my achievements!;You treat it with just a little
bit of respect, young lady!*Oh look - here's your
thought for the day!Ah! What does it say?Actually, the line is blank.
Give it back!5Some people just don't
appreciate quality literature.5Now just tell me something
else you'll take in trade!"Anything but the story of my life!
All right.2Go get me one of the really
old biographies, then. One of those ones with pictures.4They're kept in a locked
dark room somewhere inside.There!Are you satisfied?-Perfectly. This one's much
better than yours.Here's the cart to play with.&Let me know when
you turn up in court.I did it! See?I can ride!
I can ride!   43   Yippie-ki-yi-yay, sir.But I did it! See?I passed the test.Yeah, so I see<Shall I prise the saddle from
your flesh now, sir, or later?:The trouble with you, Albert,
is you have no sense of fun.>I'll laugh when I'm prising you
out of that saddle, my friend.#And now - undead from Ankh-Morpork!RWelcome to the show once
voted most likely to reap
a harvest of thrown vegetables!5And now, the person I guess
we're *all* waiting for--Herrrrrrre's DEATH!WOOO - YEAH, ALL RIGHT.OTHANK YOU LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
YOU'RE A BEAUTIFUL AUDIENCE
IF SOMEWHAT STUPID.>AAH, IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE PEOPLE
WHO ARE UPRIGHT AND BREATHING.  KNOCK KNOCKWho's there?DEATH
Death who?DEATH - ACK!"THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU..."OH - OH YOU'VE HEARD THAT ONE, EH?&ALAS POOR DEATH -
I KNEW HIM, HORATIO.A MAN OF INFINITE JEST....Well - not exactly infinite.(I DIDN'T THINK I WAS DOING TOO BADLY....EUm - maybe it's best not to quibble
at this point in the proceedings.This is ridiculous!How can Death die?6THE MORE LIKE ME YOU BECAME,
THE MORE MORTAL I BECAME.5SOD IT - I WAS JUST STARTING
TO GET THE HANG OF THIS!'OH DEAR - I REALLY DO THINK I'M FADING.DMAYBE TAKING TIME OFF FROM MY JOB
WASN'T SUCH A GOOD IDEA AFTER ALL.NAH WELL - I SUPPOSE IT'S IN GOOD HANDS.
TA-TA! HAVE FUN BEING THE GRIM REAPER!Grim Reaper?What do you mean Grim Reaper?(WELL IF I'M GONE, THEN
THE JOB'S YOURS -THROUGH ALL ETERNITY.But I can't be the grim reaper!>I get queasy just squishing
caterpillars on the baby lettuces!
No - stop it!+I don't want to be left holding the scythe!NOPE. I'M SLIPPING, I'M AFRAID.MY TIME IS RUNNING OUT.OI WISH I'D HAD A MOTHER,
BECAUSE IF I'D HAD A MOTHER,
I COULD CRY OUT 'MOTHER!' BUT I DIDN'T, SO I CAN'T. BLAST.4OTHER FAMOUS LAST WORDS
ARE "DON'T POINT THAT AT ME"%AND "WHY IS THAT RED LIGHT FLASHING?"JAND "HOW DOES DIBBLER MAKE A PROFIT
ON THIS STUFF AT FIVE GROATS A BOTTLE"I KNOW THEM ALL./NOW... WHICH ONE SHALL I
USE. LET ME SEE NOW...GAll right - just stay there and I'll
try to get you on your feet again!'Here - it's from the fountain of youth!This ought to fix you up.4COUGH COUGH! OH, OH, OH,
OH, OH - IT'S GETTING DARK!7OH. BUT... BUT... BUT WAIT
- HUH, OOOH - THERE'S LIGHT!THERE... NO, DOESN'T QUITE WORK, DOES IT?HOW ABOUT, ER... AHEM.OOHH, "KISS ME, RINCEWIND".NO... NO... OR..."I'LL BE BACK!",EH. NO, SORRY, I... I GUESS
I WON'T BE BACK.   43  Oh for Offler's sake!iI suppose all water of youth is going
to do to a skeleton is make him get
covered in smelly bits of skin."I'M MELTING.""WHAT A WORLD! WHAT A WORLD!",Just hang in there.
I'll try something else."AUNTIE EM?""TOTO?""IS THAT YOU?"OOOOH - I'M GOING!
I'M GOING....OOOOOOOH - HERE I GO.I'M STILL GOING, YOU KNOW....<All right, all right - something
to fill up your hour glass.I'm working on it!?Honestly - you'd think nothing
was done around here without me!Once - just once -I'd like to see an adventure based on
"Rincewind stays in bed and gets some
kip while everyone else runs around and
collects stupid objects on his behalf"#OH DAMN - I FORGOT TO SHOUT "FORE"!Aaaaah!(The gentleman from the Assassins' Guild.DDo please come in and abase yourself
at the edge of the yellow line.!Now come closer, while I explain.%Hmmm, not that close, not that close!
Oh! Sorry."Now look - I want someone removed.]A potential troublemaker, somebody
who's become too popular for his,
or should I say my good.@And there has to be no way of
connecting myself with his demise.Say no more, Sir!
Say no more!VWe shall strike like the subtle hand of doom,
leaving nothing but weeping in our wake.For you see - we are The Night!You are?(I thought you were the Assassins' Guild?DAh - well we are the Assassins' Guild,
but we are also... The Night!SSo, in fact, you're that
period of the diurnal rhythm
defined by darkness, are you?XSo nighttime thefts, muggings,
murders and overnight cart parking
in restricted zones...@We can just start billing the
Assassins' Guild directly, can we?6No more fussing about with
tax collectors and fines...Er... wh.. what!XB-but, just because we are
the Night, doesn't mean that
we're responsible for the night!0Well if you ARE it, then
you have to control it.6And if you control it, then
you're responsible for it.This seems eminently sensible.DI have a few thousand unpaid bills
we can send your way by tomorrow.Er. No no no no - now look!GAll right. Um - we aren't ARE the night,
but we are OF the night... OF!rSo we... we are an integral part of the night,
without assuming any controlling or
otherwise responsible position.So whereas we can assume custodianship
of unpaid bills, this will only be as a... a...
a storage facility - a favour to you, my lord -sUntil we find someone who utterly
encompasses ALL aspects of the night -
whereupon we can pass the bills on to him!Oh, very well...8So in the meantime, just
get on with this new job. Hmmm.BAnd don't mess it up like you did
with the Fools' Guild last time!>'Scuse me, do they have those
chocolate-coated icecreams here?,The one with the little bits of nut on them?#They only had insect larva flavour.Insect larva!?!<Mmmmmm. Some new invention
imported from XXXX, apparently...#When's this clickie starting, then?Yes! Hurry up!/Some of us have to get back to bed before dawn!Rubbish!I say! Zis is appalling!   UUgh! I haven't seen anything this awful
since I saw the Dean in the showers! Hrrrmph.#Well - that didn't cut the mustard!   430  !No no no. I thought it was awful!Well in its awfulness, it had a certain
beauty - just as in beauty, we sometimes see
awfulness pressing through from underneath.I mean - sure! sure! We all look at it, and say
"Well this presentation eats its own young",
but I mean - is this a fair assessment?wCan we really judge an art piece as being
awful simply because it exhibits no
attractive or interesting aspects at all?HActually, I felt that in many aspects,
the film proved to be a very apt,very direct communication.Oh? Of what?IWell...a communication of just how
untalented some clickie makers can be. It's wretched! Really awful!,Ooh! Things like this give death a bad name!Oh Gods - not again!This is wanton depravity!  !Ohhh my. I do say. How marvelous."Oooh! Beautiful.
Simply beautiful.%I wish my smell could have seen that.*That was better than being alive ever was.&Now, that's what I call real charisma.#He'll go far, he will. A real star.  
Well I never!Oh I say - oh that is good! Run you fools!It's for real!BArgle! Snap it for a ragman's trumpet!
Millennium hand and shrimp!#Yes, it is very romantic, isn't it.<Buggrit, front the biscuit for a
sneaky trouser, I told 'em!7You're just an old softie
under that crust, aren't you.COf course she is rather tall, but
they do say size isn't important.3Actually - they do make a
beautiful pair, you know!Buggrit?LI mean the Librarian and the giant. Do
you think we should rescue him, Dean?=Mmmmm? I was just wondering if
we might have to rescue *her*.4Perhaps we'd better just
let nature take its course.`Got a horse, did you say? How's
he going to get it up that tower
with that big woman in the way?!Bladders! Get your bladders here!?Only a groat apiece - and even
then, I'm cutting me own throat!+Bladders? Are you taking the pi-- Bladders?eBladders, my friend. A rustic forerunner
of the more familiar rubber balloon,
as enjoyed by children.?This is absolutely true. Who says
computers aren't educational?4I got sheep bladders, vole
bladders, moose bladders.!You want a bladder, I'm your man.You know, I believe you.7You can do other things besides
blow them up, you know.#Oh, dozens of uses, a good bladder.]Although right now I admit I can
only think of, er, one or two.
Er, well...er... one, really.1All right. I'd like to buy
some bladders, please!&Certainly, squire! Now then what sort?bWe've got yer rat, yer vole -
that's the field vole, meadow vole,
and the killer Klatchian vole...A Killer vole?iOh yeah, you know the ones - six feet
long, covered in poisonous spines
with incisors like chisel blades.^But I thought voles were sweet
little things - you know, small
and brown and covered with fur?Not these ones, sir!Take yer arm off in an instant!!They've leveled whole continents!FObliterated ships filled with puppies,
baby kittens and innocent nuns!.Wait a minute!
These look like sheep bladders!mIt comes to something when a poor
sheep is finding its essential organs
floating around as kiddies' balloons!cSheep, sir? Never, sir! Catch me
harming sweet little creatures with
curly wool and big brown eyes?8Naah, not on my life!
Cut me own throat if I tell a lie!,These have been taken from Klatchian voles -a life form so foul, sir, so venomous, so putrid
and psychotic that the hunters, sir, the hunters
were all awarded medals for services to humanity!    43  2Klatchian voles is like
rabid sharks on legs, sir!DOh, well that's all right then. In that
case - give me some of them.Right you are, squire!>I just hope they had time to go
to the lavatory first, though.Animal bladders.That's right, squire!As toys for children.Wonderful idea, eh?qLook - do you really think this is
an appropriate part of an animal's offal
to be touting about as a child's toy?&Well I... I suppose you're right, sir.VBut the stomach gets used
for haggis, and the intestines
get used for sausage skins...^Wait! Brilliant! There's one bit
no one ever uses. I can get hold
of a pile of them right now!/NO! Stop right there!
This has gone far enough.!Bladders I can almost understand,Obut I will not allow you to run about
giving children toys made out of... of...$Skulls, sir? What's wrong with that?&I could make little drums - castanets.Little money boxes....Skulls?*Sigh*&Oh good. Right - well, that's OK then.1You just go and sell some
animal skulls later on.It'll have to be later, squire.PI'm still trying to shift all those
animal-colon footstools
I made up yesterday.Now that's free enterprise!1You see that -
that's what makes this city great.A man's free to re-use the internal organs
of dangerous fauna in any way he sees fit,
no matter what the health department says!DI'm not sure whether they spent
enough on the script for this movie.(It seems to be all just special effects!Mmmmmm? Is it intermission yet?6I was hoping for something
nice and sticky on a stick.1The only thing sticky
around here is this finale.Get on with it!)Hello there young man.
Having a good day?(This is clearly some
attempt at sarcasm.(Are you sure this is
where you wanna be?&I mean - it's not exactly safe, is it.<I don't know. The safest place
seems to be wherever you are.HI heard all those comments you made
about the animation budget, you see.She's right there, you know.Mmmmmm!No!I haven't even asked it yet!Oh all right. Ask away.That's better.*Now - can I have the
flying broom, please?No.Right!8There, see? It doesn't hurt to
follow the correct forms.{Now if you don't mind, it looks like I'll
have to get busy going on a silly quest
to wrinkle the wretched thing out of you.,You can swap minds
with this raven, can you?Yes. I'm very good at it.pOh go on -
You can't possibly manage to put
all your knowledge and experience
into that tiny little avian brain!Ha! Of course I can!Just watch!0What a clever woman!
Clever... yet oddly dumb...<Haven't you got anything better
to do than sit here all day?JWell, it's not every day I get to see
a man torn to pieces by a giant elf.Oh.Yes. Point taken.&Waiting to see me get croaked, is she!kOnly the fact that this is the last
scene of the game makes me refrain
from saying something really acidic!What are you still doing here?+Doing?
Well I'm not dying,
that's for sure!)I've tried drowning,
I've tried stabbing.    43@  YI've tried hanging -
and that's an extremely
boring way to spend a night,
hanging around.Yes, well, I...@Then I tried poison -
poison snakes,
poison ivy,
poison potions.QEven tried me some of
that Deep Water blow fish,
but do you think I dropped dead?Not a bit of it!bI went to the worst reputed
restaurant in Ankh-Morpork and
that was hard to find, let me tell you.HI got a meal made by the owner's pet
rat, called William. Still nothing!HYou can't even get a decent case of
food poisoning in a town these days.XIn my day and age, you went in
fear of your life every time you
went into a street cafe!wThere was your basic food poisoning,
your lead poisoning from the cooking pots,
ground glass from the mixing pestles..."Yes. Look - I really have to go...WAnd it bloody cost me seventeen pence.
Seventeen, just for a bit of fly-blown blowfish.UFor that kind of money, you... you'd expect
them to throw in William the rat as well!KI ask you! How's a body supposed to
get its last rites in this day and age?.I am going to die if
it's the last thing I do!What is it now?1The dead are supposed
to rest in peace, you know! Run! It's a falling giant woman!And that's another thing!lIn my day, girls were sweet, demure
little things, not sixty foot tall monsters
like you apparently get now!XAnd I'm also pretty sure that in MY day,
they all actually wore something under their...So it's you at last, is it!"So where do you think you've been?+SORRY. IT'S BEEN A BIT
OF A CONFUSING WEEK.
Confusing!8I've been undead since half
past ten on Tuesday morning.YI mean, I wouldn't complain,
but I've lost seventeen pence
just on blowfish since I died!9You'd think the afterlife
would be cheaper, wouldn't you!!WELL, I'VE SAID SORRY, HAVEN'T I?4COME ON - LET'S HAVE A
CURRY BEFORE WE GO.
MY TREAT.2Oh! Well - all right that
is rather decent of you.IBy the way - I tried strangulation,
drowning, poison, traffic accidents -RI even listened to improvised jazz music,
but that just made me *wish* I was dead.-Or that the musicians
were dead, at any rate.How did I finally manage to go?&YOU GOT SAT ON BY A GIANT ELVEN QUEEN.INow there's one I never thought of
trying. Still, if you've got to go....                             43                                         #Sort of explains a lot, doesn't it?That leads back outside. That leads back to Djelibeybi.!That leads back to the Discworld.That leads back to the library.  -That leads into the pyramid architect's shop.   That leads to Bonedie Beach.  That leads to Death's study.      That leads to Susan's bedroom.That leads to the alcove.     43l      That leads to the Discworld.    That leads to the hallway. That leads to the kitchen.That leads to the library.          That leads to the stable.That leads to the stoning area.  'That leads to the Used Camel Salesyard.   A hand pointing down.   An exit.I'm not sure where that leads.Be seeing you then.Goodbye for now.-Look, I'm afraid I have to be somewhere else./Pah! That's enough of this conversation for me.See you later.Let's just stop all this now.Goodbye!Well, that's it for now./If ever you're
in Ankh-Morpork
then look me up.0Sorry, can't stay
and chat all day.
Must be off.I have no further use for that.5Been there, done that.
Let's leave well enough alone.   Let's just leave him alone.Let's just leave her alone.Nope, that just won't work.I doubt whether that will work.That's not going to help you.  Good idea, but not just yet. I'm afraid I can't pick that up.ZHere! If you want to go hoisting
this thing up, then you come
in here and try it yourself!VI think you might be confusing
me with someone who actually
wants to exert themselves.iI'd give it a go, but I think that
local surgical appliance technology
might not be quite up to the task.  43$   eFascinating, isn't it, the length
of desperate stupidity some people
will go to just to solve a game.  uWell normally, I'd be quite pleased to
do it, but my physician has recently
warned me to avoid massive loss of blood.ZAh! Now once again, you're
confusing me with someone actually
capable of fearless courage.mI've got a better idea! I'll go out
there and play the game, and you come
in here and risk life and limb, OK?  ^My limbs are currently in exactly
the order I want them to be, and
that is where they'll stay! |Well - even though your orders are rubbish,
I do find it endlessly fascinating just
postulating the way your mind must work.3Mmmmmmm - not one of your
better ideas, I'm afraid.ABut colourful! Really colourful!
Your parents must be so proud...%Hmmmm - getting there! Getting there!NAnd to think - your parents still won't
let you use scissors with pointy ends. Well - we're on the right track.$Well - partially on the right track.3On a scale of trackness,
I'd give us a 7 out of 10.   Well who'd have thought, eh?*Allow me a brief moment of inflated pride!OOh! Right! So easy - of course.
It was right there in
front of us all the time.yAllow me to compliment the game designers
for establishing a logic system completely
at odds with a real, rational world!0Oooooh - your mother
must be so proud of you....-Well at least this keeps you off the streets.%So you puzzled that one out, did you?'Pardon moi while I reserve my applause.,Ooooooh you handsome little sea weavil, you!.Rincewind: Homo Sapiens Sorcerous Irritabilus.qIn reality I'm a full foot taller,
bronzed, and rippling with muscles,
but it's been a hard night for the artist.It's me!It was me five minutes ago.2And it'll still be me the
next time you look, too!Honestly! Some people.[You give them a tool, and they
spend the next ten years of
their life just playing with it.<Doesn't anyone else around here
have any sense of stability?+Of aims and goals.
A sensible grip on life?Hey, that tickles.Hey, leave my pixels alone.My dear, faithful old luggage.*Quiet as a log, and just about as smart...;Hmmmmmm. I wonder if it's about
time my luggage had a bath?Don't you find something strangely soothing about
an ambulatory box which can consume fifty times
its own mass in food, clothing and furniture?You don't? Oh.1Actually, it scares the
willies out of me, too...What? Shall I get inside it?MNo way! Nobody's ever interfered with
the luggage and lived to tell about it.               43l                                                                   43                                               	Rincewind                      43                                                                   43P                                                                   43          	Rincewind                                                           43                                                               Dummy      43<                                                                   43                                                                   43                                                                   43$                                                        Sometime later.           43  "I think once was enough don't you? Point-Me-Own-Bone DibbjlamIt's funny, really, how you go thousands
of miles and meet someone who sort
of reminds you of someone else...ShopA colourful local shop.\And I've got just enough time
to stock up on a few billabongs
and get my jumbucks re-strung.7If I want anything I suppose
I have to talk to Dibbjla.BasketsBaskets.cTake a good look; you'll probably
be weaving these in remedial therapy
before you finish this game.I'd better ask Dibbjla first.Sticks#Ah. A bent stick.
How very amusing.+You kidding. Why would
I want a bent stick?SurfAh, the sea is restless.2I'm like that myself when
I've got sand in my bed.*A swim doesn't seem like such a good idea.+I could get crushed by all those big waves.4Not a bad idea, but the
legs seem to get in the way.6Damn, there must be some
way I can stay on this board. 5Hey, I think my pixels are
getting a little sunburnt.;Strewth mate, am I getting sick
of being poked and prodded.;What am I meant to do with this -
sit on it or stand on it?PI'm beginning to get the idea, but perhaps
trying it with water would be better.II'm surrounded by sun, sea and surf...
and you want me to play with this?    Ant Hill%Ah, the ant hill!
A marvel of nature.6Such complexity, such assured
instinctive engineering.dA whole little society blossoming,
evolving and growing right here
before our wondering little eyes.(Now lets go and find a magnifying glass!HI'm not picking up ants by hand.
Anyway I'd have to lure them out first.KNot a bad idea, but I have to actually
get the ants out and into something."The honey may come in handy later.9Now we're onto something,
but shouldn't it be full first.TreeHHmmmmm - Eucalyptus Cacaphonia Nervosa,
or the lesser whooping gum tree.gIt's a little known fact that these trees
actually hoot like owls through the
dark nights of midsummer.CActually, it might be that I'm the
only person who knows this fact.I'm already barking mad.Cave Paintings^Primitive paintings of sheep,
preserved here just as they were
tens of thousands of years ago.aThey are, of course, doing just
exactly what sheep were also
doing tens of dozens of seconds ago."Basically, sheep are just sheep....I don't think that I can
actually remove them.!I'll have to make a copy somehow.!I'll need an imp loaded in first./That won't help me get
a copy of the paintings.Women     #Whoops! Well, there goes Casanunda.?I'd watch what happens next,
but I'd probably be here for days.D'BlahD'Blah?  43  _Oh no... Why is it that the eerie
things in life have such powers
of replication and endurance?Uri DjellerVA piece of knotted-string in the
guise of a human man, wearing
the name "Uri Djeller".(Perhaps I should attempt to communicate?0Unfortunately he only straightens metal objects.)I doubt whether he could straighten that.Rock Seller8Oh look! It's a man selling
rocks for use at stonings...3Um...funny, this sort of
reminds me of something...&I think he's only interested in rocks.Vultures,A pair of birds just
having a good carry on!Carrion - get it?Oh, well, please yourselves...&I wouldn't catch them even if I could..I just wish that they
would stop following me.#Yeah, I know that's what they want.,But I'll give it back
to 'em in me own time. I wish I could throw it at them.
Prospector     CamelFunny looking horse.%I'd better not fiddle with his camel.Saddle BagsA pair of saddle bags.[Paired, of course, so you can
lose twice as many articles as
if you were carrying a single.Hey look, a canteen.*Nothing inside. The saddle bags are empty.#There's already something in there.2How would putting that in
his saddle bags help me?Camel1My desert steed! A fine
and mighty racing gerbil!
Hitching RailA hitching rail.1It's a piece of wood! What
do you want, a speech?No point really.Pyramid7Lo! Behold the majesty of
this tall stone pointy thing!9Who knows its mystic secrets!
Who cares? Not me, for one.   Office@An office. Yeah - well, I'm sure
it must be of use to someone...Shop-Another shop. Local business must be booming!  &I'd better ask the stall keeper first.Rocks"This actually looks like iron ore.(Well, iron or something that isn't iron. $Designer rocks!
For the upper crust.;Bit of a geological pun there,
I don't know if you noticed?
Candy Rock3Candy rock - straight from
big rock candy mountain.XOooh look! Apparently this stuff
comes in coal tar, sulphur, and
new phosphate flavours!Stoning Area    43   A stoning area, eh??Once again, I get that strange
feeling I've been here before...CamelNIt's a mammal; I'm afraid further definition
is currently a point of argument.GIf I must have one of these then perhaps
I should talk to the salesman.Camel@Well, whatever it is, it seems
to be composed mostly of knees...CamelLThe shuddersome thought, of course,
is that these creatures actually breed -6meaning that something actually
finds them attractive.SalesmanA very suspect salesman.	ArchitectA pyramid architect. Hmmmm...9Obviously involved in one of
those pyramid sales schemes.Poster
Oh goodie!@This is the schematics on how to
make your own personal pyramid.ModelA scale model pyramid?FWell I suppose you could always use
it for keeping razor blades sharp.sFor one thing, you could probably grind
the razor blades to a nice edge up
against the sides of the wretched thing!&I don't think that I'd better take it.ChartA chart of a pyramid. Gad! now there's a pointed clue!DI wonder if these things really do
change the speed of passing time?Nope, it's glued down.   
Drawing BoardoActually, since all pyramids are
the same, I wonder how often he ever
really needs to use his design equipment?8No, I'd rather just keep
returning to the drawing board.Plans@Plans and more plans. Probably
pyramid designs that didn't work.^No thanks. I've already got my
own plans. And they don't involve
hanging out with you forever!Vultures1Now why are those things
following me everywhere?&I wish I could wring their damn necks.Stake=Now that's a wonderful stake.
Tall, straight - pure teakwood.AThese people certainly know how
to give bondage a sense of class!%Why would I want to have that stoned?Hole(A hole, begging for a stake I would say.Hmmm... It's to small.I just took it out of there.>Not a bad idea, but I'd need
a good reason to have her stoned.WallYes... I'm looking closer.UI think it's still a wall, but
we're still waiting for the
last few votes to come in.@Are you kidding? I'm not going
to be the first against the wall.RopeEI used to have a chunk of rope just
like that, back when I was a boy!*sigh*3It was called Sidney.
Sidney the piece of string...*sigh* Vultures - noisome but nice.!I have no desire to go near them.	Bone IdleNBone Idle? I'm not quite sure that
I really appreciate that joke!
Say no more!,Why should I free him at
this point in time?)I don't think that will help me free him.    43  SkeletonHmmmm. A skeleton on a stick!4I think there might be
marketing possibilities here! I'd better free Bone Idle first.Skeleton3"Dino", eh? Less meat on
him than a chicken nugget. I'd better free Bone Idle first.Skeleton)Bing? Funny sort of name for a scarecrow. I'd better free Bone Idle first.
S.T. UngulantA desert prophet. Oh lovely!]He's mad as a kite, smells like
a pot of earwig stew, and just
guess who gets to talk to him!What?8Give my hard earned belongings
to a stark raving madman!Angus@Angus? Oh yes, of course - Angus
the figment of the imagination.eYeah - I'm not quite sure that
I have the mental equipment to
handle this sort of thing right now....9Next you'll be having me
talk to invisible white rabbits."He has no need of material things.Vultures  	CartwheelOne cartwheel - broken.,What it's doing out here,
I just don't know.Makes a comfy seat though.It's already occupied.VultureDHmmmm - vulturis vulgaris; ninety
percent beak to ten percent brain.%Um, I'd rather not if you don't mind.Vulture
Nice vulture.=Lets not get too friendly, just
in case it follows us home...I'm not touching him.
Rotten Arm<Hmmm, guess it's their lunch.
Looks like an old mummy's arm..Hang on. There's a ring
on one of the fingers.LDamn! Looks like I just can't take it
from them. They're to clever for that.6Almost fooled them! Looks
like I'm on the right track.7I doubt that swapping that
for the arm would fool them.RocksYes - they are indeed rocks.AHow they got here in the middle
of the desert, I just don't know.They're too heavy.Skeleton1This skeleton belongs to
the vultures, I presume.;This must be that carrion baggage
I'm always hearing about!I'd better just let it be.Water"Oh, it's either water or a mirage.9Well, here's to a nice refreshing
glass of good hot sand.CNo time for swimming... or for making
sand castles for that matter.It already has water in it.I can't afford to lose it.PillarAha! A tall stone slabby thing!It's a pillar, not a pillow.PillarTAnother tall stone slabby thing!
They really went for that
ethnic look, didn't they!Sarcophagus4Oooh look. Someone's been
gift-wrapping dead people.It's already occupied.
HieroglyphicsMysterious hieroglyphics.   43  [They say that if you stare at
these things long enough, they
begin to sprout talk balloons.MummyKWell there's all sorts of obvious things
which could be said at this point;ilet us maintain our dignity and simply
say that this is the preserved and
embalmed body of a dead person,Band treat the situation with
decorum and respect for the deceased.GYou're waiting for me to say some
sort of crass punch line, aren't you?<Well, you're not getting it
from Mrs Rincewind's little boy.+If, in fact, she was MRS Rincewind, I mean.2I can't talk to him... and
I'm not picking him up.0So you'd better think of something else I guess.Be a bit more specific please.He's already dead.Bandage,Hello - there's writing all over this stuff!Gold shares, up thirty points.3Consolidated slave labour, up
seventeen. Hmmmmm....3I could have made a killing
if only I'd been there.6Aw! I'd only get tangled up if I tried to unfurl that.Nah. Not quite the right tool.Pot0Ooooh! A pot of glue!
I do so love sticky stuff!Tree+This place looks like a good place to sleep>Maybe I could take a nap later -
when I've finished this game.PedestalDA pedestal. Hmmmm - I've always wanted
to be placed on one of these.$Hey! It already has something on it.#Lets just leave the pedestal alone.Fountain#There's lots of sand in the bottom.;The water is spurting up through
a little hole in the base.QI can't hold water in my bare hands and
I'd only get wet trying to get some sand.GI can't fill it with water and I'd
get wet trying to fill it with sand.%That won't help me get water or sand.Sand2Sand. Well at least its
honest crumbled-up silica!$Not that dead polyp stuff from XXXX!$I need something to put it in first.2It wouldn't be wise to
fill the canteen with sand.That won't hold any sand.                            43t                                                               ?Locked! Now that strikes me
as being suspiciously unfriendly...Nope, can't budge it.That won't unlock the door.  43                         Dibbler                
Horse Suit                           43                                 HouseHmmmm - since this whole realm is actually
an allegory of the collective imagination,
I wonder why Death needs such a sturdy roof?/Then again, maybe it's best just to never know.Stable	A stable.BWell, I hope it's stable, otherwise
the horses will all fall down.GardenDeath's garden.%It's probably full of black broccoli.+Death seems like a broccoli kind of person.CornHFunny - I've never really thought of
Death as a home baking kind of guy.1I'd need a scythe to make
any impact on that lot.Ow! My back. My aching back.&I don't think that would cut the corn.        Bee Hive.The bees are all black!
How very cool of them!<I wonder if you can get
sunglasses with multifaceted lenses!What a short memory we have.4I'll need some head
protection and some smoke first.I'll just grab some wax.$I'd say that I'm finished with that.#Well, it'll need to be empty first.5I'll just sneak a little honey.
They'll never notice.%I'll need some head protection first.  43 Well, this should do the trick.Just guessing are we."Perhaps we're closer than we know.%That would create way too much smoke.That's not going to help me.BeesRBees.
I'd ask where their pollen comes from -
but I know they're going to flowers,]and I can hazard a guess at the colour of the
blooms - so let's just skip all that, shall we?You have to be kidding.+What do you want me to do?
Throw it at 'em.	Rincewind#Tickling me won't get the job done.2Well at least it isn't
an under garment this time.    BA jet black pond - and oooh look,
there's little white fish in it!!Little white skeleton fish in it.;Oh well - at least his
fishfood bills will be fairly small.No way. Who knows what's in it.+I doubt that the water is black enough yet.%This should really blacken the water.;I'll only get it wet, and probably
stain it in the process.PondA pond filled with ink.WNormally I'd worry about killing the fish,
but I think in this case, the point is moot.&No way. I'd never look the same again.&Now this really is blacker than black.I'd better not dye that black.Gnome+A little skeleton gnome. How... how quaint.I think he's beyond talking.Fishing Rod!A fishing rod for a garden gnome..Yeah - no real accounting
for taste, is there?GnomeXYes, I think Death could probably do with
some serious advice about his choice of decor.$Talking to him would be a dead loss.    Sun DialA sun dial.<Hmmm. It doesn't seem to have
a... an - um - a pointy thing. You know - for casting a shadow..I can't even tell the time using an hourglass.Swing&So Death's got a little swing, has he?^I wonder if it's for the girl,
or whether he likes to have a
jolly little twirl of an evening?Susan"Death's grand-daughter, so I hear?Why would she want that?I'm not giving her that now!-I doubt whether she would find that exciting.Toy Cart/Maybe someone's fixed
Death's little red wagon?Hey. Leave that alone you. PitA soul pit?>Hmmmm - I've heard of money pits,
but this is a new one on me!@Believe me I'm tempted,
who wouldn't be, the
way you're playing.!I'll need to aim more accurately.  43 !I don't think it even has a soul./He hasn't been reaped
by the Grim Squeaker yet.DotsHmmmm - Little dots.(Little dots each with six little legs...*Come on, they're almost in the next world.<I'd need something better than
my hands to entice them back.:Good idea, but what should I
do with it? Throw it at them?&Don't you know anything about fishing?%Even I know that a little bait helps.<I don't think it's quite sickly
sweet enough to entice them.'Now what did I use earlier in the game?$Nah! They'd probably just ignore it.Binky&Hmmmm - a high stepping horse of doom..Now there's something
you don't see every day!Are you kidding.ICan you imagine just how bony Death's
horse would be to ride bare backed.That's a good Binky.There, I think he likes me now.That won't make him like me.Saddle7Why does old "bony-bum" have
such a well padded saddle?&Is he frightened of chafing the horse?)Guess I need to win his confidence first.pDon't you just hate the way that certain
characters join forces with game
designers to make your life miserable?&Putting that on the saddle won't help. 4A saddle smeared with glue.
Mmmmmm! Nice and sticky!%Actually, I could get used to this... -Why would I want to stick that to the saddle.StrawBits of dead grass.>I'd pick them all up, but then I'd
just be grasping at straws.Get it? Grasping at....,All right all right.
I apologise, all right?&Now you really are grasping at straws.Rope#Aaaah Rope! Breakfast of champions!Trough/A horse trough. A trough
for serving up horses.!Please, let me have some dignity.Anyway I'm not thirsty.HouseXDeath's homey little house -
complete with black walls,
black floors and black ceilings.<It doesn't start looking any
better as I get closer, either.7I can enter the house. Maybe I
can even climb on to it.!But I certainly can't pick it up.MatNA "welcome" mat on Death's doorstep
still doesn't give the place a homey feel."Hey there's a little key under it. There's nothing under there now.*Sweeping that under the carpet won't help.Door4So after all this time,
I'm finally at Death's door.;Funny, I always thought it
would be a more dramatic moment./I don't need a key to get through Death's door.ChimneyA chimney? How very odd.:Does Death actually need a
nice toasty fire of an evening?*For that matter - is it ever evening here?BI'd need a really tall ladder or
a grappling hook to get up there.<I guess we're sort of heading
down the grappling hook route.  43 :Well once you've started
something you'd better finish it.FI could probably hit the chimney
with it, but what good would that do?*I doubt whether that will get me up there. 'Looks like it goes down to the kitchen.I'm not the Hogfather you know.I don't deliver presents.Window'I can't imagine there's much of a view.7What exactly do you hope
to see in the domain of Death?The door would be easier.Flowers/Flowers; and oh what
a surprise. They're black.I don't need one.!Anyway it wouldn't suit my lapel.ClockBHmmm - and what a lovely brutal
"swushing" sound this clock makes!-Forget it. Time means
nothing in this domain.Umbrella StandIt rains here?3Actually there's no umbrella...
Just an old scythe. NOW we're cooking with charcoal!"With this I really feel the goods.Nothing left in here of use.No point putting that in there.Golf BagLDeath's golf bag. Yeah - I'm not sure
I want to see what the balls are like.1The 'skull' clich is growing
very old very fast.PI'm not really a golf sort of person.
Actually I'm surprised Death had the time.8The only thing it needs appears
to be a pitching scythe.CurtainNice black material.#This curtain's stuck fast in place!(That won't help me tug the curtain down.CurtainNice and black.This one looks more mobile.I can just tug it down.WindowAh! A room with a view.IAlthough what you'd want to gaze out
at around here is utterly beyond me.+Haven't been there.
Don't want to see that.Bed0Oooh! A comfy looking bed
if ever I've seen one.<It's nice to at last have a
room with a bit of colour in it.HForget it. Do you think they'd waste
memory on animation of me sleeping!Candles6Like everything else around
here they look artificial.ENo point really. They're just props
put there for background flavour.RI hope I don't need a candle, in which case
I'd have to figure something else out.Rabbit%A Bunny! I wonder what it's used for.ToysKGirlie stuff. Nothing of real interest
to a tough macho wizard like myself.+No thanks. I'm trying to maintain an image.StringGWow, I've had to wait this long in
the game before I found some string.Marvels will never cease.Stove Does Death eat?
And if so, what?)No need. I can see that the oven's empty.EI've heard of buns in the oven, but
this is really taking it too far.Pot Belly StoveA pot belly stove, eh? 43  *Hmmm - about time this one went on a diet.'I shouldn't be trying to burn things...NWell, you never know, I may be able to pawn
them if you ever finish this game.FlueAh - a fine figure of a flue.SSome flues are flimsy, but this one has
me flabbergasted by its fulsome fixtures...<I'm sorry - I don't quite know
why I was forced to say that.!Nah, it's too hot to bother with.CandlesNLike everything else around here, these
aren't even real - they're just props.$No point really. They wouldn't work.Oily RagAn oily rag.=This should be useful for polishing
glasses to a dirty smear.
Sugar BowlDeath's sugar bowl.Those who say you catch more flies with this
stuff than with vinegar obviously haven't
tried tasting Death's version of sugar lumps...TableOne sinister black table./Polished with sinister black beeswax, no doubt.No time to sit and eat now.Albert-Albert: An annoying butler-type of character.gHe's going to find himself in terror
of his suspended little life once
the new management takes charge!,Hmmm. Why would he be
wanting that just now? That won't help me become Death.That doesn't even have a soul.(Anyway I need one hundred of the things.Bells-The bells! The bells!
They never stop ringing'Sorry, I got carried
away for a moment.;Actually, you don't seem to be
able to ring them from here.Window%Ah. A lovely view of... view offff...>On second thought, why not just
look at a blank piece of wall.!It's sure to be much more scenic.#I think I'll just pass on that one.DeskMAh, Death's desk. So this is where the
big life and death decisions are made.7I'll wait until I'm fully
qualified before I sit there.$It would spoil the neat arrangement.InkwellBAn inkwell, and it's full of ink.
The blackest ink I've ever seen.%There's not enough ink to do the job.ToyWow, an executive toy!I wonder what it does?Ledger,A ledger. All good public servants need one.I wonder what's inside.I'll just sneak a look.cLets see. The last entry is
'Fool and Chucky'. Hmmm, the last
column hasn't been checked off yet...'The previous entry says 'Skazz's ants'.GWell at least they're all correct and
accounted for. Poor little souls.CordLooks like a servant's cord.I wonder what this does?    Hourglasses5Each of these hourglasses
represents somebody's life.@Every grain of sand is a precious
moment never to be recaptured.    43) 4Hmmm, I wonder what would
happen if you added water?<Nah, no thanks. I'd only end up
knocking the whole lot down.Shelf9A shelf of self-writing
autobiographies. How very quaint.Shelf.Shelves filled with
self written life stories.Shelf>Yes, yes, I'm beginning to get
a bit of a theme for this room.BookHWait a minute - this biography's mine!
And it's been bloody remaindered!Some cheek!&Well if I can't take it, then who can? 6A biography of somebody's
life... still being written.2Lets see what's happening now.
'ZZZZzzzz ZZZZzzz'.!Hmmm. Must be the Archchancellor.3I'd better not fiddle. I
wouldn't want to wake him.Book   Book&Lets see. Whose is this?
Ahhh. Albert.#Now what does it say at the moment.a'Albert sits and takes it easy,
dreaming up more silly quests for
the little twerp in the dress.'7Cor! Just wait until I become a
real *bone-fide* Death.Then I'll deal with him.    Alcove!Oooh! It's long... long and hard.Long and hard and shiny!CYou know, I don't often get to
feel them in this kind of condition!8Shelves, I mean.
I don't often feel
shelves in the dark.(Good idea, but I'd
only burn me fingers.*Good idea, but shouldn't
I light it first.I'd only lose it.Are you kidding?$Who knows what's
hiding in the dark?TabletsHmm. Old stone tablets.$Must from before paper was invented.#I'd better try and find a lose one.TabletgThis tablet isn't so much written in
pictographs, as bad stick figure
drawings describing pictographs -=meaning it's either a caveman's
biography or a graphic novel.)I suppose either one should do just fine.SkullZHmmmm - he made a dreadful Death,
but he might make someone a
damned fine desk ornament...6I doubt that a drink of
ordinary water would help him./There's no point showing
him his own hourglass.$It would only depress him even more."Well, that won't restore his life.Bones9I wonder if there's any market
for xylophones these days?&Nah, I'd better leave his bones alone.?At least until the men in white
coats have chalked around them.HatqUgh! I'm sure that this hat must be in
fashion somewhere - which is the scary
aspect of the whole wretched thing.No point. It's blown to shreds.CorkANew improved "cork"; the accessory
with a million household uses!Poster 430 Yet another poster.5Who keeps putting these
things up everywhere, anyway?Anyway who is Debbie?-And what exactly did she
do on the Discworld?&It's not going to be of any use to me.6What I need is something to
make them love my clickie.Poster'Forest Thump'=The tender story of a troll
brought up by a family of dwarfs.;Forget about the wallpaper.
Concentrate on the job at hand.CalendarA calendar.|I'd take a closer look, but since it's
one of Dibbler's, I don't think I want
to see who this month's model is likely to be.OI have no need to know what day it is,
or for that matter even what year it is.@What I need is more critical
acclaim for my clickie about Death.Device3Well obviously it's a... it's a...
um... a thingie!,No - wait, what's that
word I'm looking for.A wossname!
That's the one!*A prime left handed
reticulating wossname.!I need something to splice first.,Why would I want to
splice that to anything?This looks like it fits.0Good idea, but I need
something to splice it to.%Now I think I'm on to something here.3What if I splice in a few
shots of the Elven Queen?#Sort of *subliminal* you might say.,That should make 'em
sit up and take notice.	Projector$A projector.
And it's mine!
All mineWaaaaa ha ha ha ha haaaaaa!;And look, it's operated by a crank...
no jokes, purlease...#I'll need to rewind the reel first.I doubt that needs projecting.ReelA clickie reel.,For keeping my precious film nice and fresh. CansCans full of old clickies.0I suppose it helps to
keep the nutrition intact.Nothing useful here.Cans+An assortment of old clickie documentaries.#Ahhh. The marvels of ants and bees.&They're probably crumbled away by now.CansTCans full of the sort of film you permanently
weld shut inside a big tin can. Savvy?4I wouldn't touch that stuff
without welder's gloves.                 436     .I can't just steal a
bunch of pixels you know.1Anyway, at this resolution
they're just to heavy!            Crowd;Look at that lot; like a school
of guppies at feeding time.BI get confused talking to anybody
in this game, let alone a crowd.Granny4Now, Granny isn't the sort
who suffers fools gladly.4As a suffering fool myself,
I'll go along with that.Take that thing away young man.Broom
Aha! A broom.tI've heard of the theory behind them,
of course - but there's usually by-laws
against apprentice wizards using them.0Leave that alone. It's
not for the likes of you..I don't think I could
swap that for the broom. :Now we're cooking.
I've always wanted
to try one of these.Raven
Pretty Polly!2I'd best leave it alone.
Granny might get jealous.#Throwing that wouldn't help at all.
Death Of Rats:The Death of Rats: now appearing
at a plague pit near you!I'm sick of talking to him.That would be cruel. My old mate Dibbler.ZIt is my ultimate aim to convince him to sell
himself off to the army for target practice.*He'd only put it inside a bun and sell it.WindleUndead, but still trying.#He'd only want to take it with him.TowerA-ooooooo--gah!Sorry, got carried away again.BI do hope the little fellow's okay
up there. I'll rescue him soon.I can't just climb up the wall. That won't help me get up there. NYes it is still I, and I have survived
all the way through to the final scene. Despite your attrocious playing.7Even in the last scene..
You just can't resist can you?BWhat do you want me to do with that -
fly away on it or something?          43h<         QWhere water meets land...
although in this case it's
hard to tell which is which.Ship)Looks like the only way out of this town. Ah. The Shades, I know it well.rAn area where curiosity not only kills
the cat, but also weighs it down with
bricks and tosses it in to the river.    !A sort of rest home for the dead.Unseen University5The home of the mightiest
wizards on the Discworld...And of course me!Fools' Guild(Used to be one of the more jolly Guilds.&Now look at it, just a pile of rubble. 9The focal part of town.
Where the new clickie theatre is.Shop.Funny, I'd swear this
shop wasn't here before.Ankh-MorporkEThe greatest city on the Discworld.
All roads lead to Ankh-Morpork...#Or was that away from Ankh-Morpork?	Holy WoodIA place where false dreams come true
or at least can be put on celluloid. *Aha. XXXX. A land of surf, sand and flies.
DjelibeybiDjelibeybi - good name.1I wonder if it describes
the place or the people.Pyramid/Tall and pointy. What
possible use can they be?)I can't just walk there through the sand.	CartwheelDThere's not really much you can say
about a cartwheel in the desert.Oasis0I sure hope it's not one
of those mirage things.Hill*Obviously where the undesirables hang out.Fountain Of Youth4It'll sure make a change
from bottled mineral water.	BonestockA folk festival for Death?"What ever will they think of next?Forest!The gateway to the elven kingdom.            43<              ShadesDocksCemeteryPlaza                                                43=                                   Alcove                                43F    Key?A key to Death's door? Hmmmm...
Shouldn't it be a skeleton key! Feels like an average key to me.A key can't open that.Bladders$Animal bladders.
Empty and deflated.I'm not blowing into those.#I can't put that into the bladders.Bladders"Animal bladders filled with water.!We could be on to something here.#Wow. All smooth, round and sploshy. Nah, it would probably burst it.Bandages1Cloth Bandages. My mummy
gave them to me. Honest!9I'd wrap myself up if only there
were enough to go round.*Cor, that's nice. One bandaged wooden arm.&Wrapping that up won't really help me.	Boomerang-A boomerang attached to
a long piece of rope.QAppears like overkill really.
This thing always came back
without using the rope.'Tying that to the other end won't help.BeeswaxFinest beeswax.7Well, maybe not 'finest' -
it's usable beeswax, anyway. Strange texture, very malleable.$Waxing that wouldn't do it any good.BeeswaxSinister black beeswax.jMmmmmmmm - I'm not exactly sure that
it's a commercially viable product,
but still, it's very atmospheric.!Very malleable... and very black.3Perhaps something a little
finer would work better.'Mixing that with the wax won't help me.Dribbly BeeswaxNAh! Dribbly beeswax.
Makes up in "free spirit"
for what it lacks in stability.0Similar texture to the real thing. Just runnier.MFor all the good that waxing it would do,
I might as well spit on it instead.BellowsTBellows. Strangely soothing to operate,
but I don't know if they'll ever catch on... That doesn't need any air added.Stick A kind of bent stick-type thing.4These things should come
with an instruction manual!I'll get rid of this thing yet.1You know, I think I've
seen this in the clickies.That won't help at all.	Boomerang&A boomerang covered in that SFX paint.I'd better not touch it.)I don't want any of the paint to rub off.Brick3A housebrick. Hmmmm. Nice
heft - good aerodynamics.PThere's nothing quite like a good, solid
brick to bring out the artist in a man!1Basically it feels just
like a brick should feel."That doesn't go well with a brick.
Haunted Brick6A brick haunted by my old
pals Chuckie and the Jester.#Yuk! They feel all cold and slimey.=I think they're happy enough
haunting the brick without that.Brochure)A brochure about do-it-yourself clickies. 43O -Hmmm. Be a clickie director in 10 easy steps.,Make a clickie about your favourite subject.!Dibbler Direct will show you how.0I think the brochure is self explanatory really.Camera<An impstamatic camera - badly
in need of an imp to power it..Hmmmm. What's this?
Feels like a little easel.!Now we're ready to take pictures.-That's not what this camera needs to operate.CameraMy own camera!KNow all I need is a slide projector,
and a new reign of terror could begin!'Better not touch it.
It probably bites.Don't feed the imp!Candle#Now that's a sinister black candle.1Should look good on a
sinister black coffee table6next to a sinister black
"Hovel Improvement" magazine.$It won't just light itself you know.That won't light it.
Lit Candle A blazing sinister black candle.OYeah.... Why is it that sinister black
candles always give out such poor light? It's miserly! That's what it is!4I mean, there's so little
point in sulking about it.NYou're a candle! Burning slowly down
into a puddle is what you're meant to do!Ouch! It's hot.Burning that wouldn't help.
Candy Rock'Candy rock. And I do mean candy "rock"!TAs in if I eat it I'll be
sipping milky tea through a
straw for the rest of my life.Feels too hard to actually eat.'Paper wraps rock.
Rock blunts scissors.I guess rock wins.2The candy rock does not
want to be used with that.CanteenWater.:Well, it's wet, runs downhill,
and you can see through it.&What do you want,
a chemical analysis?No thanks. I'm not thirsty..I doubt that adding water
will make that grow.Canteen3A canteen full of water
from the fountain of youth.ONo thanks. The last thing
I want is to live forever
through one of these games.5I doubt that adding water
will make that any younger.ChilliChilli powder.lI'd taste-test this stuff, but the
animation budget won't stretch to a
proper demonstration of the results -Bso you're just going to have to
take it on faith for this one, OK?'Eurgh. Just touching it makes me sweat.-That doesn't need to have chilli added to it.Pot&A hand-made clay pot,
currently empty,Fwith the maker's mark
lovingly inscribed in
teeth marks along the rim.Nothing in there. It's empty.I can't put that in the pot.	Honey Pot2A clay pot, full to the
brim with delicious honey.Oooh! All sticky and yummy.$The honey would only make it sticky.HooterA clown's hooter.#Now I can blow my own horn at last.  There we are.
One sticky hooter.'Nah, that doesn't go well with hooters.Cork 43X A cork. Better in than out, as they say.Feels all corky to me.-It doesn't have anywhere
to plug the cork in.Corn*Dibbler's 'do it your self' banging grain.#No refunds,
no returns,
no regrets!'Feels like plain and simple corn to me.  2Nah, mixing that with the corn won't do much good.(Do you really thing I'm a cereal killer!CornCorn soaked in alcohol..The cereal that goes snap,
crackle and hiccup!I prefer my corn straight.*What are we trying to do?
Make a cocktail?+I think the rooster's had enough don't you?Hoops3Eight Croquet hoops.
Made from bent pieces of wire!CNah. I'm afraid they're far to
hard for me to bend back into shape.That won't do anything for 'em.Wire"Eight pieces of straightened wire.%Nope. I can't do anything with these.1What? Would you like me
to poke the wire into it?MalletGWell at least this quest is underway.
I've got one stick to start with.Feels just like a mallet to me.+This doesn't help.
I need more of the same.Mallets.Two sticks. Now I really
am getting somewhere..I could try rubbing them
together if you like?Nope. I need one more stick.Mallets(Quest completed!
Three identical sticks.Now we're cooking.)Perhaps you'd like
me to learn to juggle?2Leave well enough alone.
I've got my three sticks.CurtainIt's curtains, all right.Feels nice enough to wear.-Not a bad idea, but I'll
need more ink first.4Wrapping that up in a curtain
won't do me much good.CertificatePCor, a death certificate.
Now that I'm decently dead,
I can get on with my life!:Feels like a piece of stiff paper...
strange smell though.:I've been declared dead. Lets
not meddle with it shall we.
Hour-glass)Odd. Why does "Death" have an hour-glass?(A little redundant I would have thought!"Gee. There's hardly any sand left. Does that look like sand to you?ToothIA diamond tooth. Just the thing to
bring a gleam into a wee girlie's eye.Feels like a diamond to me./The tooth doesn't want
to be friends with that.Dribbly CandlesDribbly candles!"A masterpiece of modern craftwork.'Mmmm... they feel all nice and dribbly.-I don't think I'd better light these candles."Lets just leave the candles alone.	Ectoplasm  43a .Ectoplasm. At least -
I hope it's ectoplasm...Ergh... You have to be kidding."Sliming that wouldn't help at all.FilmFilm of the elf Queen, eh?1Hmmm - we'd better get a
big screen for this one.9Basically it feels smooth with
little holes in the edges.5What do you expect... some
of the glamour to rub off?Reel'This reel contains my very own clickie.'I'd better be careful not to damage it.;That won't turn it into something
the audience will go for.Film"A film of Neolithic sheep artwork.XYes - not particularly interesting,
but I still feel there's an
award in this somewhere.:Who might want proof that sheep
come from a long way away?BFeels all smooth and strange...
with little holes along the edges.$That won't do anything for the film.Fishing Rod+A fishing rod. With a nice hook on the end.jBy the way, although I am wearing
a pointy hat, any "garden gnome"
references will be taken most unkindly!/Hmmm... feels like a hook in need of some bait.>Well it does fit, but perhaps
if there were something in it....I might catch a horse,
but that'd be about it.=Should I ever need to catch a
vampire cat I'll give it a try.)Even Dibbler sells better bait than that.Fishing Rod&A fishing rod baited with black honey.>I sure hope you don't expect me
to go fishing for black bears!#Let's just get on with it shall we.7Fishing around with that won't
produce much of a catch.Genie BottleAn empty genie bottle!NThree wishes and whoosh, he's off into
retirement, what kind of a job is that?*Actually that sounds like a very good job!3No. It's empty... and
I certainly can't fit inside.There we go. A nice snug fit.That won't fit in the bottle.Genie Bottle.A pair of Imp's Boots
inside the genie bottle.5It's not quite as impressive
as a little ship, is it?6Now that the boots are in
there, I can't get them out.#There's already something in there.
Vile Smell'A foul smell trapped in a genie bottle.-Guaranteed to not grant you any wishes, phew!I'm not touching it.The smell wouldn't want that.Glitter DustGlitter dust, eh?,Well I'm sure this
will come in very useful.Oooh! That feels good.<It'd take more than a little
glitter to make that look good.     SharkA hammer headed shark.pActually, if you were intent on being
a terror of the deeps, wouldn't you
consult with a cosmetic surgeon first?It feels all wet and fishy.4Let's use the fish to
actually get somewhere. Right."I'm not feeding that to the shark.   43j 
Horse SuitA pantomime horsey suit.LHere! It smells like someone's been --
well, it smells, if you get my drift.*Well it certainly feels like it would fit.3Looks like it'd fit, if
only I could stick it down.QGood idea, but I'd best apply
it to whatever I intend to
stick to the horse suit.There we go. One unicorn suit.  IceA great big ice block!:Yeah, now all I need is a martini
the size of a bird bath.)It'll only melt faster if I touch it now.6That doesn't need to be any
colder than it already is.Imp<Small, offensive, looks like a
road accident in a bag - yep!It's an imp all right!0Touching imps is something
I would rather avoid.He'd only eat it.BootsBoots taken from an imp.'Look, observe, but pray do not smell...Too small for me I'm afraid.!Good idea. It may hide the smell.$The boots don't really go with that.IncenseIncense. Hmmmm - frog scented!6I could try rubbing two together.
I could but I won't.,I doubt whether that will light the incense.Incense3New improved burning incense:
toasted frog scented!I'd only put it out.Let's leave well enough alone.Ink WellWell well well.
An ink well.#And it's so absolutely pitch black.3I'm not touching that. My
fingers would turn black.8Good idea, but alas there is
not enough ink to go round.!The ink would only turn it black.
Ironing Board5An ironing board might have
a dozen fascinating uses!@And as soon as I've figured one
out, I'll get right back to you.Hmmm. Long and smooth.5Applying glue to an ironing
board makes little sense.0Why do I suddenly feel
like I'm in a sports sim?2I'll need an iron if you
want me to iron that out.JingleA horrible little jingle.Oh gosh, not again.'I'll never get the
tune out of my head!Feels like old parchment to me.RNothing would go with this jingle...
except of course an equally horrible clickie.LaddergA ladder. Long and solid - just
the thing to beat myself unconscious
with and finally get a bit of kip!.Nowhere really to climb to inside this window.OThe use of a ladder is pretty standard.
Please don't try and confuse the issue.	LibrarianJMy old friend the Librarian - who,
quite frankly, smells like a giant ape.JFeels like your everyday
run of the mill monkey...
oops I mean orang-utan.Hey, he took the front end!He'd only eat it.Tablet7A life tablet. Oooh look! It
even has a comics section!1Hmmm. Feels like little
scratchings in the stone.  43|t /It's just a stone tablet.
Let's leave it alone.Magnet\A magnet. Evidence of a frightening world of
physical forces that I'm quite happy to ignore."Oooh. It makes me tingle all over."Nope. Guess they aren't attracted.0Sure. There seems to be some sort of attraction.But what good does it do me?MatchesXMatches. Normally I'm not allowed to play
with these, but today we'll make an exception!:Strike a light. I'd only set
fire to the inventory window.I'd better not light that. Setting fire to that won't help.MirrorA mirror! Ooooh! Shiny! Who is that handsome chap in it? Hmmm. Feels quite cold actually.Nah, I'd only burn myself.$It'd probably only break the mirror.Money Pouch=My money pouch. Overflowing
with a vast wealth of gold coins.?Well, when I say over-flowing,
more of a slow trickle really...0and vast wealth is a
purely subjective phrase...7and when I say gold, more
gold'ish than gold I guess...(Oh all right, I have a few copper coins.Are you satisfied now!It feels just like money to me.>You can't just throw money at
something and expect it to work.	Mousie!!!VMousie! I will hold him and cuddle him
and name him George - or something like that...COuch! Hey he bit me! Wasn't it
supposed to be the other way around.2I'll need this after I've got some blood from him.!That won't help me get any blood.RagFYuk. This has to be the greasiest
and oiliest rag that I've ever seen.Ergh! It's all oily.,This rag couldn't be used to clean anything.WeightA one ton weight.,Or, to put it another way,
a one ton weight.'Remarkable. It doesn't feel that heavy.*There we go. We now
have a ten ton weight.That won't make it any heavier.	PetticoatIA Petticoat. Such thin
and delicate material,
I can see clear through it!=Perhaps when we've finished the game.
Then I might try it on.*Petticoats work better with people really.
Picnic BasketdA picnic basket? Top ho! I'll go
find the infamous five, and we'll
go off and have a real adventure!Feels empty to me.S'not really food, is it?
Picnic Basket"A hamper filled with scrummy food.#I've got no right to eat the props.Sorry, it's already full.	Ant SoulsA pot full of ant souls.;There must be at least one
hundred of the little blighters.5Spooky. Even the souls of
ants still feel all creepy.EI think these little souls are past
caring about something like that.	Sugar Pot(Formerly full of sugar, currently empty.Completely empty I'm afraid.&Nah, probably wouldn't fit in the pot.	Honey Pot  43d} 6A pot of evil black honey.
As made by evil black bees.Thick and sticky.&Eurgh, I hate to know what I'll catch.#Coating that with honey won't help.Glue0Embalming glue. Guaranteed for a thousand years.,If it doesn't, you can go back and complain.7If I played with that I'd only
stick my hands together.One sticky hooter.*That would make it
hard to get in and out.Now I won't fall off so easily.)There's no point in putting glue on that.PyramidA scale model pyramid..Perfect for keeping scale model mummies fresh!,I haven't time to sit under it and meditate.Good idea. I might try that.Hey! It looks older!Plans%Plans on how to make a model pyramid.JUseful stuff if you ever need to start
a business sharpening razor blades!4Good idea, but they'd need
to be straightened first.3What? Do you want me to
make a pyramid out of that?Reaper$My special patented reaping machine.#It feels like it should do the job.No point reaping that.RingRA ring. Ah-ha! And still drifting with the
mystic eastern scent of plague victims.(Smooth and round.
Nothing unusual there.The ring wouldn't fit on that.Robe9A black robe. De rigeur for
your actual spectre of death.$Feels a bit wet and sticky actually.II think we know what the robe's for.
Let's not beat around the bush here.RoosterOne rooster, totally plastered.That won't sober him up.RoosterOne rooster, cold turkey sober.8Nah, lets leave him alone. He's
already suffered enough.RopeA length of rope. Sort of like string on steroids!(Yippee! Let's tie ourselves up shall we.7This rope is too short to
be of use with the boomerang.RopeA very long length of rope.1Just like a short rope,
only - you know - longer.2I'd only end up tangled up...
that rope's so long.1You know, I think I've
seen this in the clickies.2Tying the rope to that
won't make anything useful.
Rotten Arm
A rotten arm.wMaybe we can start up some sort of trust
fund, or a charity - you know, donate
excess body parts to them what need 'em.0Arms for the poor?
It might just work, you know!!Nope, nothing else of value left.Just rotten meat and bandages.$I had enough trouble getting it off.4Please let's leave the arm
alone for the time being.
Rotten Arm2A rotten arm. Oooh, and
with a ring on one finger!"Well at least he went in style....    43ȇ $That won't help me get the ring off.SawOh no! Not that old saw!Ouch! Those teeth are sharp."Sawing that in half wouldn't help.ScissorsA pair of Scissors.CActually, I'm not usually allowed
to use the ones with pointy ends.%I've just trimmed my nails thank you.I'm afraid I can't cut that.Scythe@Ooooh! A scythe! The right tool
for the right job, I always say.Now let's go chop some wood.8Ouch! I s'pose it has to
be sharp if it is to cut souls./I think I can wedge the scythe in at the front.;Don't you think I'd better show
the scythe to Albert first?(Reaping that won't advance the plot any.Burning RagWow. Talk about smoke.Nah, it's hot.Smoking that won't work.Snow Storms:Oooooh, pretty! Little glass
snow scenes of the Discworld.Pretty. Oh how pretty.+I don't think it would fit in a snow storm.StakejA stake. It might be better if it
were lovingly wrapped in bacon,
lightly fried, then brushed with sauce -?but food doesn't seem to feature
largely in my life these days.$Long and sharp. What more can I say?0Nah, I doubt that I could plant a stake in that.StringA piece of string.+One of the building
blocks of our universe.&Just feels like ordinary string to me.Now we're cooking!9Tying that up won't do me much good...
even if it is fun.Stuffed FishA stuffed fish?bWell you'd be stuffed too if you'd
had your innards replaced with
old wool bits and cotton scraps.4I'd better not poke it to hard.
It might burst. Yuk!2Even if the fish were alive,
it wouldn't eat that.FlamingoA stuffed pink flamingo.BActually, they say flamingos turn
pink due to eating pink shrimps.0Since shrimps only go pink
after they're boiled,_I think the reason for our friend
birdie's demise is starting to
become more and more apparent.0What can I say.
It's well... stuffed, I suppose.&It's already stuffed to near bursting.Suffrajester9The suffrajester, still in there
and protesting like mad!FI wonder how it feels to be swallowed
by an ambulatory pearwood trunk?USeems to have helped clear up her complexion,
actually. I might give it a try myself!"It's bad enough poking fun at her.CThe woman is tied to a stake.
What could she possibly do with that?Sugar:A bowl of sugar cubes.
Well - they're cube shaped, anyway.2I can't however recommend
trying them in your tea. They even feel like sugar cubes.ENah, I doubt whether sugar cubes would
make good bait for anything...*Well other than horses and game reviewers.!The sugar won't sweeten that any.	SurfboardSurf's up! Kowabunga dudes!8I have no idea what that means,
but it sounds right! Yo!,Feels long and smooth.
Just needs water now.5Okay now we're cooking.
Let's see me fall off it now! 430 ,That won't help me stay on the board longer.Toy CartA toy cart!CNow all we need are some
teeny weeny oxen,
some teeny weeny people,+and we can start a
teeny weeny wagon train!?Feels just like a cart, but maybe
I could make something of it.)I think I can wedge this in at the front.;Don't you think I'd better show
the scythe to Albert first?$Putting that in the cart won't help.TankardTsk aaaah! A tankard of ale.TWell - sort of ale, anyway,
if you forgive the busy little
creatures swimming in it.!Oh look! Some of them are waving.`No, I refuse to drink any alcohol in this game.
Getting through the introduction was bad enough.Alcohol soaked corn.-This should give something
a decent hangover..Soaking that in alcohol won't help in any way.Sticker$A sticker with the number ten on it.>A million household uses, no doubt.
Just have to wait and see!@I doubt that sticking that on
myself would make me a perfect 10.*There we go. We now
have a ten ton weight.0I doubt that sticking a
'10' on that would help.Ten Ton WeightA ten ton weight.)Well, we can claim it's a ten ton weight.;Don't worry too much about
the physics. It's only a game...,Funny, it doesn't actually feel any heavier.-I think it's already
heavy enough, don't you?	Test tubeA graduated measuring device.;Putting my finger in the test-tube
doesn't accomplish much.Measuring that won't work.	Test tube+A test-tube containing
4ccs of mouse blood.6I'm not touching that. You
never know where it's been.:Pouring the blood over that
won't help me solve this game.Key.The key to a trailer. Hmmmm!
Lavender scented!Feels just like a key to me.&What? Does it look like a door to you?Unicorn SuitMy very own unicorn suit.)A bit too big for just
me to wear though!Yep. To big for me alone.Hey, he took the front end!:I don't think I'd like to share
my unicorn suit with that.MouseHmmm. An undead mouse.4No way. He might bite me
and turn me into a vampire.I think he's past caring.Teeth All the better to bite you with.Ouch! They're sharp.I'm not biting into that.Teeth?A set of vampire false teeth -
recently used by the look of it.#Feels more like blood than ketchup.$That won't help me measure out 4ccs.Wading Bird!One slightly stunned wading bird.7Not surprising, the way it
dived 'onto' the river Ankh.KNice soft down. Better than what's
in my mattress - whatever that might be.It's too stunned to eat that.Broom  43̙ "Your typical flying witch's broom.,Looks like it's past its 1000 mile warranty.$Wood and straw. What more can I say?2This broom's for riding
and lets leave it at that.
Wooden Arm
A wooden arm.%Doesn't look very life-like, does it?#Feels hard... and wooden I suppose.%That's nice. One bandaged wooden arm.'It's not in any condition to hold that.Bandaged Wooden ArmHmmm - a bandaged wooden arm.$I'm not sure that it will ever heal.#Don't poke at it. It'll never heal.YSince you've created the damn
thing I'd have thought you'd have
known what to do with it.Bunny7How cute. A little bunny
rabbit for putting pyjamas in.I wonder what's inside.Leave the bunny alone.Bunny0A cute little bunny rabbit -
minus the stuffing.Empty I'm afraid.)The bunny rabbit isn't made to hold that.PyjamasA nice lacey nightgown.Feels like lace to me.6I doubt that it would look
good wearing the nightgown.KnifeA sharp cutting blade.Ouch! Yep it's sharp.Cutting that won't help me.	SurfboardTSurf's up! Kowabunga dudes!
I have no idea what that means,
but it sounds right! Yo!That's better. Long and sticky.$No point sticking that to the board.Hooter/A clown's hooter...
with glue all over the end.There we go.
One unicorn suit.#I'd better not stick it on to that.Unicorn Suit9My very own unicorn suit.
And it already has a front end!(Try taking it out and clicking it on me.)I feel strangely confined in this window.FI think we know by now just who is
going to be the unicorn's rear end.PickMmmmm! A pick!8Find me something to use it
on and I might surprise you.1I'm afraid that doesn't
go very well with a pick.
Picnic Basket8A hamper filled with scrummy food.
Topped with ants too!@Sure the ants would like it, but
it'd just create a sticky mess.No more room I'm afraid.Film$Left over film of the elf Queen, eh?Still some good footage here.6There's got to be a better
use for the film than that.Reel'This reel contains my very own clickie.?With the odd shot of the Elf Queen
spliced in for good measure.)Are you kidding? The
glamour may rub off.It's already a masterpiece.Book3My life biography. Big print
version. Easy to read.>Hmmm. Worth a peek. Maybe it'll
tell me what's happening next. 43ܡ U"Rincewind sneaks a peek
into his life book expecting
to read what'll happen next..."GFor something to get into my life
book I must experience it first hand.MirrorOuch! That's hot.!That would just break the mirror.Answer"The answer to the question 'why?'.:Feels like a little card with
strange holes punched in it.oLets just take this answer to where
it's meant to go... and stop trying
to fool around with the game, shall we? For a good conversation starter.<For when everything else fails
why not try a little sarcasm.For asking a general question.For asking about the old boots.For asking about the broom.For asking about candles.For asking about candy rock.For asking about Susan's cart. For asking about the coffee pot.!For asking about dribbly candles.For asking about the duck.For asking about ectoplasm.For asking about elves.'For asking about the Fountain of Youth."For asking about the genie bottle.For asking about glitter dust.For asking about babes. For asking about the horse suit.For asking about imps.For asking about the jingle.For asking about a ladder.For asking about mouse blood.For asking about novelties.For ordering a mouse burger.For asking about popcorn.%For asking about the Elf Queen's pet.For asking about the raven.For asking about a vile stench.For asking about sticks.'For asking if he'll stand in for Death.(For asking about the key to the trailer."For asking about the unicorn suit.'For asking the ultimate question - why?,For telling Dibbler you've found the Jingle.)For telling Dibbler you've found the Band*For telling Dibbler you've found the Babe./For telling Dibbler you've found the Novelties.0For asking a specific question
about this topic.For a personal reflection.For ending the conversation.Ankh-Morpork MapEnter from Ankh-Morpork MapCemeteryEnter from CemeteryCrypt Interior Close-up"Enter from Crypt Interior Close-upCrypt InteriorEnter from Crypt InteriorDocksEnter from DocksFools' GuildEnter from Fools' GuildPatrician's Throne Room Pork Futures Warehouse Interior  43 *Enter from Pork Futures Warehouse InteriorSewer EntranceEnter from Sewer EntranceSewer - Grate SceneEnter from Sewer - Grate SceneSewer - Warehouse Exit!Enter from Sewer - Warehouse ExitWandering Shop Exterior"Enter from Wandering Shop ExteriorWandering Shop Interior"Enter from Wandering Shop Interior
Bonedie BeachEnter from Bonedie BeachHidden BeachEnter from Hidden Beach Enter from SurfingBonestock Stage Close-up#Enter from Bonestock Stage Close-up  Death's DomainEnter from Death's DomainCornfield Arial Shot Death's BackyardEnter from Death's Backyard
Death's HouseEnter from Death's HouseSusan's RoomEnter from Susan's RoomDeath's Entrance Hall Enter from Death's Entrance HallDeath's KitchenEnter from Death's KitchenLong Lifer RoomEnter from Long Lifer RoomLong Lifer AlcoveEnter from Long Lifer Alcove
Death's StudyEnter from Death's StudyStable InteriorEnter from Stable InteriorDjelibeybi MapEnter from Djelibeybi MapCrucifixionEnter from Crucifixion
DjelibeybiEnter from DjelibeybiCamel Salesyard Close-up#Enter from Camel Salesyard Close-upArchitect Shop Interior"Enter from Architect Shop InteriorStoning Area Close-up Enter from Stoning Area Close-upFountain of YouthEnter from Fountain of Youth  OasisEnter from OasisProphet on Cartwheel Pyramid Exterior   43T Enter from Pyramid ExteriorPyramid InteriorEnter from Pyramid Interior
Discworld MapEnter from Discworld MapShip's HelmEnter from Ship's HelmHoly Wood StreetEnter from Holy Wood StreetHoly Wood Establishing Make-up InteriorEnter from Make-up InteriorMilkmaid's Trailer Interior&Enter from Milkmaid's Trailer InteriorWardrobe InteriorEnter from Wardrobe InteriorRite Of AshkEnte Book Plaza EstablishingEnter from Plaza EstablishingOdiumEnter from OdiumProjection RoomEnter from Projection RoomTheatre InteriorEnter from Theatre InteriorShadesEnter from ShadesGimlet's Bar and Grill!Enter from Gimlet's Bar and GrillMortuary InteriorEnter from Mortuary InteriorMrs Cakes InteriorEnter from Mrs Cakes InteriorTroll's Head Interior Enter from Troll's Head InteriorUndead Therapy Session!Enter from Undead Therapy SessionStone CircleEnter from Stone CircleElven Castle Exterior Enter from Elven Castle ExteriorElven Castle Throne Room#Enter from Elven Castle Throne RoomUnseen University Map Enter from Unseen University Map
Altar Room Dining RoomEnter from Dining RoomUniversity GardenEnter from University GardenHigh Energy FacilityEnter from High Energy FacilityComputer Tower of ArtEnter from Tower of ArtKing Kong SceneEnter from King Kong SceneHoly Wood FilmsetEnter from Holy Wood Filmset     43                 PyramidsDams in the stream of time.Correctly shaped and oriented, with proper
paracosmic measurements correctly plumbed
in, the temporal potential of the great mass of
stone can be diverted to accelerate or reverse
time over a very small area,Sin the same way that a hydraulic ram can be
induced to pump water against the flow.The whole point of a correctly built pyramid
is to achieve absolute null time in the central
chamber so that a dying king, tucked up there,
will indeed live for ever - or at least never die.The time that should have passed in the
chamber is stored in the bulk of the pyramid and
allowed to flare off once every twenty-four hours.                           Act 1 Act 2       Act 3The Grim Rincewind!Act 4Till Death Us Do Part!EpilogueQueen Kong! 43    Luggage Enter from Intro  TitleIntroGame Startup	Inventory  All Items
Added to InventoriesIntro Dining RoomRite of AshkEnte
Test EntranceRincewind's RoomEnter from Rincewind's RoomSunsetNew GamePlease Insert CD 1Please Insert CD 2	CD ChangeBandLoad a GameSave this Game  
Game Controls	SubtitlesQuit PlayingResume Playing	Load Game	Save GameRestart GameRE-START GAME
Are you sure?Music VolumeSound Effects VolumeVoice VolumeDouble Click SpeedTestSwap Mouse ButtonsSubtitle SpeedDisplay SubtitlesQUIT PLAYING
Are you sure?
Scene Menu BabeGRATUITOUS 3D SCENEResume GameGame Options(Copyright 1996 Perfect Entertainment LtdGDiscworld is a Trademark registered in
the full name of Terry Pratchett,Title illustration Copyright 1996 Josh KirbyPublished by Psygnosis LtdCredit Sequence        43               EnglishFrenchGermanItalianSpanishEnglish (US)Select LanguageSound/Subtitles
TerminatorA SUTHERLAND-BARNETT PRODUCTION$Based on Terry Pratchett's Discworld!Written, Directed and Produced by
Gregg BarnettExecutive ProducerAngela SutherlandProgramming DirectorDavid JohnstonTinsel System Programmer
John YoungGame Programmers(David Johnston
Paul Carpenter
Mark JudgeAdditional ProgrammingAdrian Brown
Jason BrookeDialogue	Paul Kidd$Animation Director and Lead AnimatorSimon TurnerTechnical Art Director
Paul MitchellCreative Art Director
Nick PrattChief AnimatorsSteve Packer
Ben WillsherAdditional Animation
David Swan'That's Death' Animation
Rob NewmanLayouts and StoryboardNick Pratt
Lee TaylorAnimation Scripting)Paul Mitchell
Guillaume Camus
David HurstMark Booth
Simon TurnerExternal Animation Studio
FilCartoonMusic Director
& ComposerRob Lord
Sound EffectsMark Bandola
Paul WeirVoice Sample ConversionJeremy Tranter    43 Art Coordination and CheckingAnn WitbrockHead of TestingMatt StampsAlastair Cornish
Sefton HillProducers for PsygnosisChristophe Gomez
Mark Cochrane Assistant Producer
for PsygnosisLeon WaltersProduct Managers
for PsygnosisXNadia Lawlor (UK)
Caroline Dupuy (France)
Clemens Wangerin (Germany)
Michele Harris (US)
QA OperationsChris WatsonTechnical AssistantsVCraig Duddle, Brian Walsh
Trevor Jones, Chris Stanley
Barry-John Edwards, Paul WallaceQA Alpha TestingPaul Tweedle
Tony CrossQA Beta TestingJenny Newby, Chris Grannell
Ray Livingston, Andy Santos
Stephen Allen, Neil Clarke
Mark Halsall, Alan Mawer
Lee O'Connor, Richard YandleQA Master Testing"Stuart Allen
Mark O'Connor
Edd HayQA Technical TestingPat Russell
John WalshAgent for Terry PratchettColin SmytheThrowing Rocks From AfarTerry PratchettVoice of Rincewind	Eric IdleAlso Featuring the Voices of$Nigel Planer
Kate Robbins
Rob Brydon'Death of Rats' voiced byKatharine the crocodile 'That's Death'
Recording Credits )Lyrics and Music
Copyright 1996 Eric Idle
Lead Vocal	Eric IdleBackground Vocals%Catte Adams
Terry Wood
Carmen Twillie'That's Death' MusiciansZTom Scott
Rick Baptiste
George Bohanon
Alan Pasqua
Dean Parks
Brian Bromberg
Johnny Friday$'That's Death'
Project Co-ordinatorsLynne Scott
Patty Nichols)'That's Death'
Arrangement and Production	Tom ScottRecorded & Mixed at.Pacifique Recording Studio
North Hollywood, CARecorded & Mixed byDavid Rideau7Special thanks to SoftImage
for their tools and supportCharacter DesignMatt Taylor3D Sequences
Warren Hawkes
QA ManagerFeargus Carroll      Guillaume Camus
Mark Booth    43 Design Assistant
Chris BatemanTestersMovies CD 1Movies CD 2 All Rights ReservedPublic Relations
for PsygnosisPMark Blewitt (UK)
Benoite Lavie (France)
Ingo Zaborowski (Germany)
Mark Day (US)7OF COURSE, YOU KNOW WHY MY
OLD JOB WAS ALWAYS SO HARD -)I ONLY HAD A SKELETON STAFF. HA HA HA HA! /Portions  copyright 1993-1996 SciTech Software        GRATUITOUS PYTHON SCENE(Apologies to Python (Monty) Pictures LtdThen press a key to continue                                            434                                                                  43|                                                                  43Ŀ                                                                  43                                                                  43T                                                                  43                               
                         43                                                                  438                                                                  43                                                                  43                                                                  43                                                                  43X                                                                  43                                                                  43                                                                  430                                                                  43x                                                                  43                                                                  43                                                                  43P                                                                  43                                                                  43                                                                  43(                                                                  43p                                                                  43                                                                  43                                                                   43H                                                                  43                                                                  43                                                                  43                                                                   43h                                                                  43                                                                  43                                                                  43@                                                                  43                                                                  43                                                                  43                                                                  43`                                                                  43                                                                  43                                                                  438                                                                  43                                                                  43                                                                  43                                                                  43X                                                                  43                                                                  43                                                                  430                                                                  43x                                                                  43                                                                  43                                                                  43P                                                                  43                                                                  43                 